Santa

I might not cum this year

[Tesco's Own Horse @TescosOwnHorse]

Me on the Jeremy Kyle Show today

[Tesco's Own Horse @TescosOwnHorse]

Tesco *unexpected item in the bagging area* yes that's me in your fucking burger

[Tesco's Own Horse @TescosOwnHorse]

Feel like a bit of a playaa knowing all those bitches have been munching on my horse dick

[Tesco's Own Horse @TescosOwnHorse]

Gonna fucking knife the cunts who kill my friends later

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

@_OllyRiley You are getting nothing this year, cus ur a cunt

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

Gonna dye my beard cus yolo

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

Girls who asked for a boyfriend this christmas, your getting a pauls boutique jacket and a dildo you slags

[Rudolph @RudolphBanter]

Dashing through the snow, pulling santas sleigh, ill run you bastards over, get out the fucking way

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

99% of chimneys I go down are tighter than Mrs Claus

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

Mrs Claus, u r a fucking slut

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

All the naughty cunts on the naughty list are getting these for Christmas

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

Just gave Mrs Claus the D, she fucking loved it

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

Rosemary looks like she's had more fucking cookies than me

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

Heyyy sexy santa, op op op op oppa santa style

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

Might piss on Rudolph, if he doesn't pull the fucking sleigh on Christmas Eve

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

I hate frosty the snowman he's a twat might melt the cunt

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

“@RudolphBanter: Santas a fucking fat bastard” Do you want to be fucking grounded?

[Rudolph @RudolphBanter]

Might not pull Santa's sleigh this year, cba

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

Walking round the north pole feeling like P Diddy

[Santa @SantaCBanter]

Last christmas I gave you my car, but the very next day you drove it away