The Santa Clause

The best quotes from the 1994 Christmas classic, The Santa Clause.

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Bee sting. Evidently I'm allergic. It almost killed me. But, the guy at the emergency room said that eventually the swelling will go down. I hope.

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Actually, we're gonna be with Neal's family.

Ah, Christmas at the pound!

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

But this is a dream. I mean, this is fabulous. Is that a polar bear directin' traffic down there?

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Excuse me. Are we on a coffee break?

We don't drink coffee.

THEN I GUESS THE BREAK IS OVER!

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

That is exactly why you want a high-quality fire extinguisher right in the kitchen.

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Christmas came... no Weenie Whistle.

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Well, he could be listening to records jumping up and down on his bed wearing a red hat and galloshes.

I don't care what Neil's doing. Where's Charlie?

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Reindeer up on the roof... Santa suit laying on the ground... Guy fell... not my fault... Reindeer on the roof... THAT is hard to explain...

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

He's making a list...

Checkin' it twice!

Gonna find out who's naughty or nice!

*groans*

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Look, I am lactose intolerant! And I'm just about *this* close to taking all those presents back up the chimney... *you're supposed to drink the milk*

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

I ran real late today. You wouldn't BELIEVE the traffic out here. Hey, same to you! And that's not very ladylike!

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Thanks, but I'm seeing someone in wrapping.

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

The Rose Suchak Ladder Company! Out by the roof there's a Rose Suchak ladder. Just like the poem!

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Laura... He's sucking us into his delusions.

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Hey, I know where this is going. The other guy fell, it was an accident. I've got homeowners insurance, and a good attorney, not as good as my wife's - but let's not open up that wound!

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Can we take a direct flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Hey, Barabbas!
Ber-nard!

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

*You're s'posed to drink the milk!* Shut your eyes.

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

Compact disc!

No. Cookie/Cocoa dispenser!

[The Santa Clause @SantaClause1994]

You're missing the point.

What is the point?

Seeing isn't believing. Believing is seeing.