Sasha Taekwondo

[🪩🎲🍒 @expired_grl]

maybe your cat is meowing bc it wants a cigarette

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

i pushed out a 9 pound baby in like 3 minutes, what did you do this week?

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

hot take if you’re the couple who lives next door to me it’s fine for you to fight really loudly as long as you enunciate your words really clearly so I can decide for myself who I think is winning

[swinky @swinkying]

junie b. jones tried to sell me crack cocaine at applebees

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

“i don’t care what anyone says maroon 5 is dope af tbh” -@TimmyBoiSchwag

[hunter @3gpmh]

i once tried journaling but it looked like i was writing a suicide note

[⚡︎ @_sorrengailll]

Apple there has to be a better way to add an iPhone app to a folder than chasing said folder round the screen as it carries out fighter jet level evasive manoeuvres

[masha @masha_slp]

sorry for not keeping in touch i literally have nothing to say

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

surfing amazon for a wagon stroller to accommodate our soon to be THREE kids feels so crazy 😵‍💫

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

@TimmyBoiSchwag absolutely not 🙃✂️

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

47 days until the 10 package becomes the 11 package @TimmyBoiSchwag 👀

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

got pregnant a month after retweeting this,
stay safe out there folks 😭

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

those are my emotional support rotten kiwis

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

just throwing it out there that we named Vance over two years before i ever even heard of JD Vance. he’s not named after that scumbag, he’s named after Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration. thank you

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

late night finds but it’s just me and my little brother facetiming each other back and forth with different dumb pirate jokes

[via @atrophicbtrfly]

daily affirmations:
- i do not need a sweet treat every single day
- i will survive without making a $10-15 purchase today
- i am not chopped and my friends love me even if i am
- i will be very normal today and i will not feel like every social interaction is a test

[Sasha Taekwondo @SarahCorradi]

tim and i got seriously into fishing this summer for like two weeks and i miss it

[Project Hayle(s) Mary ☀️🌟 @bulbasaurbian]

I screamed at the parents this entire film

[BOOP @Pettyyyboop]

I like to throw soy sauce at sad people. Kikkoman while he’s down.