Sarah Davis

I can't even think of a good caption

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

"maybe if I pretend to be bad, a girl will missionary date me and I can be like 'woah it worked'" -jackson

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

"if I die just kill me at that point"
-tristan

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

@NotShezDan CONGRATS POOKIE

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

Someone hands me the aux but I'm in a car full of neurotypicals

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

I have a mosquito bite on my elbow so I need to jump off a bridge

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

Tyler: what made the wise men wise?
Me: they're the only ones that got Jesus a birthday present. I don't know what baby wants frankincense but they tried their best
Tyler: oh yeah well I got Jesus an xBox last year so I win

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

I'm starting to think normal people don't exist

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

@elonmusk It me in Austin hi elon

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

@_angieNicolee This is what I hear on the daily working with children

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

I feel like meth would be just enough to get me to do my laundry (for legal purposes this is a joke)

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

Can someone tell me why Stanley cups are so much better I genuinely do not understand

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

@_angieNicolee Tomato tomato tomato

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

My roman empire is that I'm probably not even my therapist's best friend :(

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

Update I showed him this and he said "I didn't pack a charger"

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

Boys will pack a charger and a pair of shorts for an entire weekend trip and then look at you like you're crazy for bringing a suitcase

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

My brain is a steel trap. Unfortunately, I can't open it.

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

Sometimes I'm really glad that my bf doesn't have social media because it's healthy and sometimes I think "but what are you gonna post me on"

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

This isn't a world that facilitates kindness but we try

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

@GothicBreadmann Trust me I googled it

[Sarah Davis @SarahElizaDavis]

Growing up is realizing that the lindt guy from the commercials is not actually a chocolatier