Sarah Kathryn Bonds

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

“If you wait to afford a kid, you’ll never have one!”

That’s okay! I already have a child. Her name is JuneBug. She likes sticks and playing outside. I don’t need a human child. She is quite enough.

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

Hear ye, ye olde folks: if something on Facebook is very clearly a wedding photo and you don’t recognize the couple that got married, please reconsider whatever you’re typing into the comment box at 1am.

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

@AustinEkeler help me beat my bf this week!!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

@alexandrasmithe That’s what I got last year for New Years! It sucked, but the rest of the year was pretty solid. Hope you have the same luck!

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

All logic and reason: you need to leave in 10 minutes to make it to work on time.
SK’s brain: wouldn’t you feel so much better if you shaved your legs?
SK’s actions: ignore both of these things and tweet about it for your six followers who aren’t even awake this early…

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

I’m not one to beg, so here’s this: the more covid cases go up due to the unvaccinated, the more I’ll work out; and since everyone could lose their sense of smell, what’s the use in showering afterwards? And I’m big on hugs, those of you w/ masks under your nose! #GetVaccinated

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

Another day, another version of Planes, Trains, & Automobiles. Really speedy and really angry or something like that. #FastAndFurious

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

I’ve only seen bits and pieces of it, but hear me out… The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift is just a more modern version of Grease without the fun singing and dancing. #FastAndFurious #GREASE #everythingsamusical #ifyoutryhardenough

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

@IBParker Furthermore, if you’re gonna do it, do it right and pop that booty in a mirror like @JayJurden 😘🥸🥳

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

@IBParker My sweet hairy angel, there’s no way on God’s green earth your ass is naturally that hairless!

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

@WenzlerPowers Be less straight! #youdoyou like you don’t already 😂

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

Y’all! My intelligent, strong mother is teaching her Southern art students about the beauty of disagreeing with dignity with the help of the incredible RBG today. She’s my hero. Your memory is and always will be a blessing! #RBG #wedissent

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

Anyone notice how Hamilton gets pissed at Burr for telling him to “talk less; smile more” so he embarrasses him in front of his friends and eventually ruins his career, but women have been told this for centuries and we’re supposed to just grin and bear it? #Hamilton #itsfine

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

@IBParker I’ve only ever seen the first one and I have no recollection of it.

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

Give the people what they want! Give us a high-budget production of #AVeryPotterMusical with the original cast! This is the musical bandage we need to make this shit show of a year a teensy bit better. C’mon #StarKidProductions! Do it for the kids!

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

Megan Mullally met Nick Offerman when she was around 40, so the way I see it... I got 13 more years. Thanks, universe?

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

Someone told me the worst was over 20 minutes before the ending of Avengers: Infinity War so I’d be “surprised.” I’m now sobbing and we’re no longer on speaking terms. Is it acceptable to call in to work because there wasn’t a happy ending and stay home to watch End Game?

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

@itswesleyking Idk. As a female and former majorette, I was done with him after his “grab ‘em” comment. You’d hopefully have a handful of the squad in pussy hats threatening to pummel anyone that tried to touch them with their batons. Then again, I went the MT route in college instead of band.

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

Until good people stop looking for the good in others, our world is not hopeless. Be positive. Be good. Be kind.

[Sarah Kathryn Bonds @SarahKBonds]

@DiannaBrownShaw @tomandlorenzo It always has been for this ginger!