Sarah Trimborn

Part time Dayna Trimborn doppelgänger

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

@mafsexperts y’all did not send these people to Vegas and put them by a wave pool to replicate waves on the beach….

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

Whenever I wake up from a nightmare my brain decides to repeat the last line of the American Dad theme song over and over again. I can’t remember when this started but it doesn’t help.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

Fell down a UFO and WWIII rabbit hole last night. We’re in for quite the year folks.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

When there’s a Titanic escape room, someone please let me know.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

I always feel so blessed that I wasn’t attracted to anyone who looks like a family member. Y’all really out here dating your bother’s look-a-like.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

If you miss shopping. Just buy a bunch of things on Amazon, hang them around your room, put an overwhelming floral oil in your diffuser, maybe light some incense if you’re feeling a little boho, play a playlist of songs that never made it in the 2000’s, and close your windows.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

I can’t wait to stay single after this.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

People walking to get somewhere don’t have anything on those walking to exercise. #viewsfromquarentine

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

This world put us in a time-out for not taking global warming seriously.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

My biggest pet peeve is when someone coughs or sneezes at very high decibels. You don’t need to yell.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

We only worry about what advertising tells us to worry about. Shit.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

Don’t Tinder when you’re high, you always see the best in people.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

Why do the vegetables I buy from the grocery store grow quicker than my house plants?

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

Someone needs to cut me off. And by someone I mean God.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

Why the hell are all these medias posting facts like “if the helicopter..”. IT HAPPENED, none of your facts will change anything. God damn. Fuck off with your ‘matter-of-fact-but-it’s-never-gonna-help’ information.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

2 stall bathrooms are so personal.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

Oh shit. I forgot to tell everybody; I like crab rangoons now! 🤪

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

For a month my roommate woke up and blew his nose as loudly as he could and tried to cough the shit out of his throat. For two weeks, nothing has come out. I think he made a ritual and now my alarm clock is some chump blowing his nose and coughing.

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

When I become famous and open my show: “Where all my unaffectionate bitches at?!? Can I get an eye roll?!”

[Sarah Trimborn @SarahTrimborn]

2019: When vaping nicotine was healthier than smoking cigarettes but smoke marijuana was healthier than vaping homemade weed.