Simply Sarah

Emergency/Pediatric Emergency RN, barefoot dancer, thalassophile 💙

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

So with all these shows having reboots and picking up years later, I’m curious who everyone thinks is gonna have the next secret evil twin if #PrettyLittleLiars has a reboot.

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

If you buy a house for over $5 million does the real estate just throw in the telescope 🔭?

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

@LIRR @UBSArena I filled out a complaint the night it happens while I waited for my next opportunity to go home and still have not heard anything back

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

Hey @LIRR , thanks for refusing to let my get on the train leaving @UBSArena so now I can’t get home in time to do my infant daughter’s overnight feed even though I timed my night out to do so. #YouSuck

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

You every use a tweezer that isn’t your tweezer and the grasp is wrong

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

Our baby: Ahh baaaa gahh!
Me and my husband from separate rooms: AHH! BAAAA! GAHH!
Husband: jinx!

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

To the regulators of ravioli serving sizes, come at me

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

Why is the salt on @WheatThins elite ?

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

I don’t think I’ve ever actually measured out laundry detergent… is this a problem?

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

As far as I’m concerned wax paper has only 2 applications:
-shaping rice crispy balls without getting the marshmallow all over your hands
-going down a slide super fast

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

Just uttered the sentence “I think we should watch ‘Top Gun: Maverick’ and eat zeppoles every St. Joseph’s Day”

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

Things no one told me about breast feeding: it is making me want inordinate amounts of trail mix??
Explain this please

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

Potato soup in the crockpot has no business smelling that good 🥔 🥣

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

Remember in the 90s when you would ask your parents a question & they could make up anything & you couldn’t Google to see if they were wrong?

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

My suggested reels on insta are all Rottweilers and my Facebook is suggesting all cake decorating videos … am I okay?

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

Shout out to my pregnancy brain which made me say “Do you have the meats” instead of “do you have the keys” to my very confused husband who just turned around and said “… like @Arbys ?”

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

I just had a very vivid memory/flashback to when I lived in Arizona and no one knew what a calzone was 😂 🍕 🤌🏼

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

@CisfourCasey Yes but I’m a good way

[ER 💩 Magnet, BSN RN CEN @ERshitmagnet]

aunt: “why aren’t you coming home for the holidays?”

me: “because I work”

aunt: “why do you have to work??”

me: “because people try to die on holidays too.”

[Simply Sarah @Sarahs_Cardinal]

How did we get 10 Christmas cards yesterday and NONE today