Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛

Award-winning writer. Sassypants. GenX. Snarknado. Problematic bitch. Bad dancer. Daydreamer

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

As I gaze into the mirror it is hard to imagine but 25 years a years ago a good-lookin soldier said nice things to _me?!_ your area bog hag. We had a couple of beers and a few laughs a couple of nights after that. Snipers do it from a distance, even after all these years. 🍻🪭

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

*grumble* *siiiigh*

Fine.

If I didn't want a clown I shouldn't have bought a ticket to the circus.

There are you happy now?

*Eddy Moonson mumbling*

There weren't any other circuses around at the time though, so whatever...

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

Happy Pride Month to my magnificent LGBTQ friends and my magnificent LGBTQ enemies 💜

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

@southrnwerewolf Salt to the cleanse the negative energy during the Flower Blue Moon. 🧙🏻

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

FEELS LIKE NAHA, IYKYK --

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

@octopuscaveman Ally McBeal

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

@enthusmiasma Jealous of the goose-stepping... HEY YOOOO!

[LRHN cash @LRHN_Cash]

The Arkansas State Police has initiated an upsetting situation with the Arkansas community after a trooper ran over and killed a baby duck.

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

ALL GAVE SOME BUT SOME GAVE ALL -- 🇺🇸🪖🎖️❤️‍🩹✌🏻

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

6/?
Yesterday afternoon, he drives to a big box store 30 miles away to buy a replacement BIG TV.
For 16 days I have been walking on eggshells around him because of this BIG TV.

14.5 years is a good run, and a new Personal Best.

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

5/?
He calls the company. He cusses. He calls the store. He cusses. He searches for the packing material we threw away. He cusses. He’ll have to hire a truck to come get it because it is too big to fit in our vehicles, he cusses.

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

4/?
I emotionally check out. The two very faint red dots now have an aura around them he cusses. Again, you can’t see them when shows are playing.
He begins researching the two very faint red dots.Loose motherboard he explains, probably got damaged in shipping, he cusses.

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

3/?
Commence BIG TV honeymoon.
But then he notices when there is a black screen, something is not quite right with the picture.There’s two red dots, very faint. In fact, you can’t see them when shows are playing. But Hubs has seen them. They vex him. He cusses.

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

1/?
For well over a year, Hubs has been talking about a BIG TV.
“You deserve it, babe. WE deserve it.”
But we have a TV. Technically 2, if you include the one in storage with no remote.
Plus, I lived without TV before.
Plus society, overall, is suffering from too many screens.

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

2/?
He finally buys one for his birthday this month, slyly shows me the price and says “Guess what I just ordered?”
“A new lawnmower?” I guess.
Hopeful, but incorrect.
We received the BIG TV and opened it May 4.

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

The Arkansas average family income is 25% below the national average.

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

THE MORE YOU HO💫🌈--Deleted my OF account this weekend. If I want an attractive man to call me a "pathetic bitch," I can get that shit for free.

[Saramonkey 🧜🏻‍♀️🔮🐦‍⬛ @Saramonkey]

YO MISTER KOTTER! I LOST A NUCLEAR DEVICE!

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

Telling the barista at Starbucks i clogged the toilet as Im leaving

[a!v¡n is on BlueSky @enthusmiasma]

Careful with the creme filling, bitches.

A report says hantavirus can show up in a man's excess genetic material for up to six years.

(One supposes it's probably like the dolphin in cans of tuna. You can't taste the difference. But you'll know. You'll know.)

#arpx #arnews