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โรok heyecanlฤฑ ama yorucu, bazen korkutucu. รok istiyorum ama aynฤฑ anda korkuyorum. ฤฐรงim รงeliลki dolu; hem istiyorum hem kaรงฤฑyorum. Sanki aklฤฑm ve kalbim patlayacakmฤฑล gibi!โ
I know I'm changing, but my fears are still, and really, this is so difficult for my mind and for my decisions that I took .. these decisions, whatever happens, will not change. These are my safety. How can I do this damn balance? It's like a conflict that will never end!!
It's really very confusing and exhausting to make a balance between your thoughts that are changing to something you before refuse it and know that you can live without it and your new needs that you start to want it .. Really, I don't know what's right for me !!
I don't know if I really want to be alone or if this is a kind of a defensive mechanism to face the fear of unknown, fear of trusting anybody ... Damn I just want to wipe everything in my mind and live in nowhere ....