Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦

I was born. I'm alive. I'll die. Same as your story, I'm sure.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

My sister lives so far back in the woods, my GPS kept saying, "I hear banjo music."

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

I just signed a petition: Block the EA Deal. Sign here: https://t.co/mDw6qiopfu

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

H: *gives the side-eye when told my niece has a different last name than I do*

Me: Oddly my sister didn't marry a first cousin… so my niece has a different last name. I know that's a difficult concept to grasp in the south.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

After a 25 minute wait for the pot pies to cook, you would think the rest of my @KFC order would be correct, but you would be wrong.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

@Ashy_slashee Melania

Pretty sure she also has acid for blood though.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

@Ashy_slashee Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

Me to my cousin: …and here's me wondering how many starving children in your area could have been fed with the money your church wasted to rent a CAMEL for a fuckin' live nativity scene.

[Debbie Wasserman Schultz @DWStweets]

He’s not even in office yet and is ALREADY going back on campaign promises.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

Apparently my nephew is: can't bring himself to call you, but will leave a rambling voice message on facebook messenger level of autism.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

I say, Happy Holidays, because I don't know what religion you subscribe to, if any, and I don't find you interesting enough to want to ask.

[Bill Kristol @BillKristol]

The Biden economy is so strong businesses are willing to hire convicted felons out on bail.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

FYI: BlueSky is like Twitter, before the Nazi sympathizer took over.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

Getting ready to enjoy a maple pecan pastry.

And I have a snickers ice cream bar on stand by to make the pecan-allergy mouth-itch go away.

Evening well planned.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

Whore Today, Gone Tomorrow

[Jo @JoJoFromJerz]

What should Melania’s memoir be called?

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

To the random idiot named Kim that had food delivered to my house:

Next time you order, send something edible.

[Conspiratorial Templates @mynamehear]

If you see something wrong in this country and wonder how it started, 9 times out of 10 the answer is Ronald Reagan.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

Ha·mas

/häˈmäs/

The magic word used by the Israeli government to absolve itself of genocidal war crimes.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

@BipolarBearDick They could straddle it and sit facing the wall if that would make you happy.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

If ,as you stated in your most recent post, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒, then the roof-top pool in Dubai you posted last month must have been a pretty shit experience.

[Year of the Goat stands with 🇺🇦 @SarcasmTutor]

Considering his vocation, I think he has taken a few too many hits, and the brain damage is showing up earlier than normal.