Sarcasoma

SARCASM: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

Keeping unattractive pictures of your friends on your phone.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

I still like you, I'm just tired of trying.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

it?s 2014 why do i still have to charge my fucking phone

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

Sleeping is nice. You forget about everything for a little while.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

I wish boobs did the bra thing without having to wear the bra

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

i wanna get hot and fit and healthy but like i dont wanna stop living off junk food and watching tv shows and sleeping until 4pm ya feel me

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

i used to be a really smart kid who was ?going places? but now i just cry a lot and eat all the food in the fridge

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

If you asked me how many times you have crossed my mind, I would say once, because you've never really left.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

(1) Vodka is made from potatoes. (2) Potatoes are vegetables. (3) Vegetables are good for you. You're welcome.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

I do not stalk my crush.. I simply gather information for specific purposes.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

Ripping the paper off a water bottle and regretting it because the sticky stuff was left behind.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

Forcing your pets to spend time with you by closing the door

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

Mom, can we go now?" "Yeah ,just a second!" *10 minutes later* "MOM!!"

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

That VERY AWKWARD moment when you open the bathroom door and someone is already in there.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

I would betray all of you in the Hunger Games

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

"You've changed." "I know, I'm a Transformer."

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U has eight letters, but baby, so does B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T.

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

ever since school started there hasnt been 1 day when i havent been tired

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

I'm not Rude, I'm just Honest

[Sarcasoma @Sarcasoma]

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice.