Sarcaustic

Dad-jokes alert!

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

Boy! This digital detox thing doesn't kid around. The withdrawal symptoms are UP THERE!

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@hughlaurie What? Like a dead drop of a suspicious-looking packet of money dropped in the dead of the night?

Yeah! That could work if you're dressed for it.

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@Memeghnad FYI the forbidden fruit theory seems increasingly real now.
https://t.co/PjVpDae5tF

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@RobDenBleyker The idea went nowhere, because it didn't have legs.

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@Eryx_The_Owl Pigeon's like "Hey! Not there, I wanna go There! There! .... "

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

All these political tweets about the #USElection are so tiring! Better take a nap before the next big thing on Twitter comes along...

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@officialDannyT Like this?

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@WeirdMedieval Old timey Yoga manuals were crazy af

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@ANI Byju's Auditors: None of your accounts tally. Everything's a mess....

Byju : That's it! Let's hire Messi as Brand Ambassador!

Accountant : But there's no money left...

Byju : Who cares? We just claim we have hired Messi...the rest will fall in place

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@ANI Has Messi confirmed this?

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@apriltauruss Gotta be ear wax scooped out from someone's ears?

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@Pogue So like modem bleeps, but for short urls?

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@Drea__Diaz @heidiklum This is like watching the sequel to Upstream Color

https://t.co/ljYdTOPrYB

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@UberFacts Loch Ness sighters : OMG! We might have seen the prehistoric fish's peepee!

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@tomgara It is tweets such as this one that justify such memes

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@LoadingArtist Wow, never thought I'd see the Dubai origin story in a comic strip

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@EconomicTimes See? New Investment!

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

Me in 2035 : There was a time when celebrities evaded public attention and sought out anonymity. The early-day internet provided this anonymity. But then came along influencers who thrived on attention. Cringe became creame and FOMO led to celebrities wanting in on the notoriety.

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

@ilovenostalgia Why it's the good old branding thingamajiggy

[Sarcaustic @Sarcofakous]

What's a pony gotta do to learn new tricks?

#NotEverythingIsCode