We've all down or said rude things to strangers AND people we love. Here's the thing: it's never about the other people. If you're being an asshole, it's because there is something going on with YOU.
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Perfectionism is really rooted in the fear of failure. We think that if something is perfect, it can't fail and it can't be criticized. The truth is that perfect doesn't exist, and that's liberating as hell.
Pay attention to the lessons other people are learning in front of you. You don't have to experience things yourself in order to learn from them. Make someone else's lesson your lesson.