Tess Brahmirez

I prefer my puns intended

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

@AmtrakNECAlerts This is not reflected on the Amtrak website or on the app….

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

Girl I see your confusion and no, I don’t know who I am, obviously

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

I just watched my sweet genZ assistant struggle to keep her unbotoxed brow from furrowing after she listened to the following songs play in succession: Espresso (Sabrina carpenter), Hotel California (the eagles), The Great War (Taylor swift), I had some help ( post Malone)

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

There is something particularly violating about someone hearing a playlist you made for yourself, assuming no one else would ever hear it

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

Trump is going to use ‘Don’t You (Forget About Me)’ as his walk on music at the convention now I just know it

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

https://t.co/QsI9KQH9Du

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

The Dallas cowboys cheerleaders are criminally underpaid just saying!

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

And a hung jury for Karen read? America has given up I think

[Sean Morrow @snmrrw]

trying to give joe an adderall through the tv

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

No one - I repeat, no one - has the unsubstantiated confidence like a traffic cop. Prove me wrong

[aram 🐏 @aramnotagoat]

North West listening to thanK you aIMee with Kim tomorrow morning…

[maya 🪩 @allmychampagne]

“He said if the sex was half as good as the conversations then we’d be pushing strollers”

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

Taylor swift dragging Kim Kardashian what a time to be alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

@curb_david finale answered a lot of questions & tied up loose ends in a deeply satisfying way. But one question remains: how did they get a blanket license for Bizets Carmen for all 12 seasons?

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

In 2017 I saw the solar eclipse. It was deeply underwhelming. That’s it. That’s the story.

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

Okay TG not just me

[New York Magazine @NYMag]

Did you feel the earthquake in NYC?

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

Can’t tell if there was an earthquake or if my apartment building is shaking again. Lmk lmk

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

@AmericanAir one of your Miami employees said that it’s “corporate’s fault” for allowing connecting flights to have a turnaround time that is inappropriately quick for the true mess that @iflymia is. You are about to have a stampede or a mutiny and no one to blame but yourselves

[Tess Brahmirez @SassyTassy]

@miamiinternational you need to fire everyone in this airport, but everyone who works in connecting flights for @AmericanAir . I have never in my life seen a bigger mess with less qualified staff to help people get through the endless arbitrary lines