Laxman Katta

Freelance Writer | Part-Time Trader | Satirical Commentator
Watching The World Burn Since Dial-Up Internet.

Market Moves, Politicians Speak, and I Laugh!

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

Welcome to my corner of the internet.

I write about markets, politics, and the strange behavior of humans.

Follow if you enjoy uncomfortable truths wrapped in sarcasm.

(P.S New on X, formerly was on Twitter)

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

Jesus Was Nailed To A Cross, Bled Out For Humanity, And Climbed Out Of His Grave Just To Discover That After Two Thousand Years, The Species He Died For Needed A Block Button More Than A Saviour 😀😂

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

Netaji Risked His Life Fighting For India's Freedom. Decades Later, Cinema Has Him Sitting Across From Hitler To Hype A Fictional Hero. Yaha Se Kuch Unch-Neech Hua Toh CHAPPAL Toh Padega Hi #FauziTeaser

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

The Market Has Officially Started My Career Transition From Part-Time Trader To Full-Time Vegetable Supplier. My Only Green Assets Will Be The Spinach. 😌😌

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

Jesus Turned Water Into Wine. Capitalism Turned His Execution Into A Wall Accessory.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

She Used The Book To Fall Asleep. I’d Probably Finish The Book, Write A Thesis On Sleep, And Still Be Awake At 4 A.M.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

“You’re Killing It” - The Kind Of Compliment That Becomes Evidence When The Caption Says You Actually Are.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

I Paid For Premium, And @JioHotstar Still Serves Me 3-Minute Ads Twice In 40 Minutes, While 1080p Looks Like CCTV Footage From 2007.

At This Point, I’m Not Watching Weapons.

I’m Paying Rent To A Digital Beggar Who Sells Me Pixels Between Advertisements.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

So Let Me Understand The Logic. Buying Weapons For A War Is “Defending Peace,” But Buying Oil To Keep 1.4 Billion People Moving Is Suddenly A Moral Emergency? Apparently, Hypocrisy Ki Bhi Koi Seema Hoti Hai

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

@unkonfined You’re Fine, Bro. Your Brain Is Just Running A Free Trial Of Commitment And Cancelling It Every Other Day.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

The Market Hasn’t Stopped Moving. It Has Just Stopped Letting Us Trade.

Brent Is At $102, Yields At 5%, And Every Setup Comes With A Disclaimer.

At This Point, Not Trading Is Our Most Consistent Trade.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

This Orange-Head Truly Has An Extraordinary Capacity For Self-Delusion: Sometimes He Even Prints The Evidence Directly Beneath The Claim 😂😂

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

My body is exhausted.

My brain, meanwhile, has apparently decided we are building an empire.

Somewhere along the way, this greedy bimbo became so workaholic that it forgot the most basic feature of being alive:

Sleep exists so you can recover.

Now the body wants rest, and the brain wants another freaking meeting.

Beautiful system.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

After days of watching oil, Iran, the Fed, yields, and the rupee argue over what Nifty should do, we finally have a market that might actually let us take a trade.

Fed fear is cooling. Global equities are up. INR is behaving.

Brent is still at $96, of course.

Can't have everything.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

@LokeshVirat18K Suvvar_Ab_Bas_Kar

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

Nifty is preparing for a 168-point gap-up.

Brent is at $95.

Fed hike odds are ~66%.

Hormuz is still a mess.

Basically, the market woke up, saw the house was on fire, and decided to celebrate because the smoke looked slightly better.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

The world is getting uglier: oil is back above $90, the dollar is rising, yields are up, and the Fed suddenly looks more hawkish.

Meanwhile, DIIs are buying enough to absorb most of the FII selling.

So the question isn't whether India is strong.

It's whether India is strong enough to ignore the world.

Markets rarely make that answer easy.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

@ifOnlyKantala Watch 'Stephen' on Netflix

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

@IndianGems_ India has a big market that consumes all of them.

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

@Mrsinha Funds stopped reaching her!

[Laxman Katta @SatireBrigade]

@Zaffar_Nama Zaffar bhai, ₹90 won’t change your portfolio.

But posting about it on twitter might get you 9,000 likes, 3 economic experts in replies, and one journalist calling it “public sentiment.”

Highest ROI available right now. WIN-WIN ah.