Meatsauce Stats & Info

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

If he owned a mansion large enough to have its own name, @MeatSauce1 would name it "No Corys".

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things Neil from the After Party podcast looks exactly like, according to @MeatSauce1:

1) Woody from Toy Story had a coke poblem
2) A doll that was left out in the rain one too many days

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Being able to comfortably drive a boat is a skillset that @MeatSauce1 wishes he possessed.

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things the Bryce Young video is exactly like, according to @MeatSauce1.

1) Big Bird walking next to Ernie
2) Grimace and part of the Lollipop Guild walking together
3) A tree and a brand new tree growing side-by-side

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things Ant's dunk that didn't count was exactly like, according to @Meatsauce1:

1) Watching a movie scene
2) Watching an action movie
3) CGI

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

All of the Minnesota State clothing you see on the show "Coach" was made by @MeatSauce1 uncle Peter's company.

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Meatsauce went to high school with a Nate Davis.

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things that @MeatSauce1 says his face looks exactly like:

1) A catcher's mitt
2) A muppet that was left out in the rain
3) Jimmy Kleinsasser and Fred Flintstone had a child
4) Grimace and Ronald McDonald

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

At the 2015 Rolling Stones concert at TCF Bank Stadium, @MeatSauce1 sat in the 6th row.

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Alternatives to Kyle Neptune being named Villanova head coach, according to @MeatSauce1:

Bill Venus
Esther Earth
Matt Moon
Penis Pluto
Urethra Uranus
Sam Saturn

Editor's Note: Mick Mars from Motley Crue is pissed.

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

As of this morning @MeatSauce1 has never seen Green Day live.

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things @MeatSauce1 believes the "REO" in REO Speedwagon could stand for.

1) Really Exciting Outing
2) Ranch Edible Onions
3) Rancid Edible O-Ring
4) Retractable Incredible.......

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things Hawkey's Genesis smells exactly like, according to @Meatsauce1:

1) Coleslaw that was left on the 4th of July in the sun
2) Potato salad that's been in the back of the refrigerator for a decade
3) Zach's breath after a good weekend

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things that wailed today from @MeatSauce1:

Music
Don't Stop Believin' by Journey
Radiohead
The Bend the Knee song by Hawkey

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

It has been 25 days since @MeatSauce1 has had an alcoholic drink.

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things that Rob Lowe wearing a towel look exactly like, according to @Meatsauce1:

1) Like he's hiding a rhino
2) Like he has a large pop in his pants
3) Like he's smuggling cookie dough
4) Like he's smuggling 4 or 5 Big Macs from McDonald's

#WhatElse

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

@MeatSauce1's blood pressure is usually about 110/70.

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things that @MeatSauce1 thinks Parrish's farts smell exactly like:

1) old eggs
2) like somebody took potato salad, left it out in the sun for a decade and a half, and then tried to eat it now
3) like Parrish eats nothing but raw mayonnaise (in the McDonald's drive-thru)

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

Things that the top and side of @MeatSauce1's head look exactly like:

1) Somebody who slept with Chris Hawkey's sister
2) Like he took a greased napkin and combed his hair with it
3) Like he dipped his head in the fry thing at McDonald's

[Meatsauce Stats & Info @SauceStatsInfo]

When he was a kid, @MeatSauce1 would eat snacks at a little yellow table while his Mom did Jazzercise.