J.B. Morris

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

Y’all couldn’t just call it the Crypto Colosseum? #StaplesCenter

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

Flat bread is just rebranded pizza for white girls

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

The economy rn

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

#GameStonks

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by #coronavirus

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

Nobody:
Mold: let’s get this bread

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

If your glass is half full or half empty, you’re not drinking enough ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

A Thousand Miles is the guilty anthem of white people everywhere.

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

@kanyewest has the whole world eagerly looking at a patch of dying grass.

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

Being human is taking a bite of pizza straight out of the oven, knowing damn well the box said to wait 5 minutes, and spending the next 2 days with a burnt mouth with no regrets #okMaybeSomeRegrets

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

Why are we still making long clothing labels? Like, @lululemon is out here putting a CVS receipt down my crack and I’m paying for the privilege. Something’s wrong here.

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

Drivers who don’t pass the limit line while waiting for a left turn and just sit that bitch out as the light turns red need to have their licenses revoked within the confines of LA County. #deadSerious

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

#teamLiterallyAnotherAirlineBesidesSpiritFuckingAir

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

Imagine if a bunch of people started buying out #SpiritAirlines flights together and bailing so they lose money on the shitty fees they can’t charge you. #BankruptSpirit2018 #dreamingOutLoud

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

#fuckSpiritAirlines

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

If you think about it, pistachios are kinda like little clams that grow on trees

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

@rtoal Please tell me you'l be teaching this: https://t.co/ZOX0Klwakt

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

A surprising amount of pent up rage can be released through an articulate but firmly worded Amazon review.

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

Girl sitting at the table next to me: "Have you seen his porn? I have... His patents don't know he sucks dick for a living!"

[J.B. Morris @SaucyGoldfish]

If you haven't taken a shit mid meal to make room for more food, you haven't lived