Saul Douscheburg

City Comptroller, Tom, MN. Fledgling comedian.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

My cockles.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

A 240lb Greek man just told me I was fat. Brb crying in my Funyuns.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

Or in my case, when she leaves her bridge club to text you you're adopted. #MothersDay

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

Every day is #MothersDay when you still live with her.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

N.Korean hackers? Aren't they the group that think Kim Jong Il won like fifty oscars?

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

Every week is shart week.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

Inadvertent accounting joke in that last tweet. I am aroused.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

Mother wants to hire me a new therapist. Not as a replacement, as an addition.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

Watched 34 Alice episodes Tayback-to-back.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

Just took a crap in honor of D Jeter. #2 #RE2PECT

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

My mother always said I liked to take matters into my own hands. Matters is my peen.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

@_FrancoAmerican Of course. How silly of me. Good night Franco.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

@_FrancoAmerican Maybe. Since when are you a celeb, Franco?

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

@_FrancoAmerican It's not real, you know. It's just for a tv show. SNL.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

She rescinded the offer.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

I came as soon as I heard.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

Got booty called last night. She told me to come over because she was naked.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

If you're not doing yoga poses in every picture then how will I know you do yoga? More like not ok Cupid.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

@_FrancoAmerican I'm good, thanks.

[Saul Douscheburg @SaulDburg]

@_FrancoAmerican What!? Are you in Brazil right now?