CrustfundBabies

just here for the jokes

[CrustfundBabies @SaveItForFest]

Start giving yourself the love you’ve wasted on undeserving people.

[Big Beautiful Billablog @Billablog]

If you're a man upset at being lumped in with rapists, attackers and general arseholes just because of your gender, maybe take it up with the men who give us a bad name instead of women who have to be on guard 24/7 because of them.

[CrustfundBabies @SaveItForFest]

@Bob_Janke I still have a pager somewhere in a graveyard-drawer of obsolete technology ❤️

[E~ville @E_Ville13]

Sorry things got so dark. It'll happen again.

[CrustfundBabies @SaveItForFest]

Favorite family tradition? Teaching the younger generations to go MUAHAHAHAHAH as toddlers. Nothing funnier than an army of the diaper-clad-just-getting-their-land-legs lurching around making spooky noises.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

[being dragged away from brunch]

PANCKAES ARE JUST FLAT WAFFLES

[taser noises]

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

If you shout ONE TWO 1234 before your song starts that mother better rock

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Jaime Pressly starring in, "The Life of Margot Robbie"

[CrustfundBabies @SaveItForFest]

You’re always the villain in someone’s story.

~ Me to my cat, while saving several Mediterranean House Geckos from him.

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice shame on me Fool me a third time hey this is a pretty good scam can i get in on this

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

I have two sick squirrels. The first one has some kind of mange (I forgot the name) that's finally his second dose of medicine. The right one had some kind of head injury that was so severe his eyes were nearly swollen shut. You can still see the scar, but they're getting better

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

here's what I would look like if I was wearing a suit made out of bees

[Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke]

Everyone has owned a tennis racket at some point but has no idea where it came from

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

Tis the season to hate all the assholes who leave their pets outside in the freezing cold

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Please enjoy these ducks changing their minds.

[CrustfundBabies @SaveItForFest]

I hate being right about American elections - an off-the-cuff joint. https://t.co/aVb4bOmXUj via @pahl_brighteyes

[Neal Stephenson @nealstephenson]

Polostan, my new novel, is coming out October 15. It’s the first book in a new series I’m calling Bomb Light. More info to come as we get closer, but for now: https://t.co/0tNxyBuNmr  @wmmorrowbooks