TheRealJesusChrist

Hot takes from Heaven

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

I ❤️ teen moms

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

Thanksgiving was such a movie! Got milk?
#YesIDid #Strongboned #DontTreadOnMe

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

@Krisplashed Heaven is shrinking with every passing day

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

Everybody deserves a muscle mommy.

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

Birth control is the biggest waste of time and energy. All you need is an immaculate pull-out game and some courage.
#pulloutgang #sexiscool #morebitchesmoremoney

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

People complaining about the weather this past week has me sick to my stomach. Simply put, these people are soft AF. I had to carry a cross a country mile and didn't make a peep.
#BeBetter #WeightRoom #StopSofties

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

@nytimes That's pretty gay

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

OJ didn't do it.
#glovedontfit
#hemightvedoneit

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

@NPR I said less controversial things than this guy and I wound up being crucified. #MakeHeavenGreatAgain

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

When I come back down again, I am grabbing taco twelve packs for the Last Supper
#LiveMas

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

@thedailybeast Great to see Pete Davidson back in the game. Didn't give him that big thang for it to go unused.

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

I've checked with my father above and can confirm, 2PAC is not dead

[TheRealJesusChrist @SaviorChristo]

@KyrieIrving There is no longer a seat in heaven for you