It’s Mrs. Matt, actually

Cheese stan. Hydrated AF. Potato. Bad Luck. Frumpling. The epitome of average. Petty bitch sometimes. heavy load. @mbs59er’s ideal-ish participation trophy wife

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

Group projects should be all the proof you need that communism will never work.

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@bronzebarbarian @Roland_THTG 🤔

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@bronzebarbarian @Roland_THTG It won’t save you

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@CCPISASSH0E I would appeal

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@bronzebarbarian @Roland_THTG I’m already on my way

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

Parents, you have about 4 days left until I’m bored can I have a snack season starts.

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@nogooddeed2 Thank you for your sacrifice

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

Guys, I think my husband is sneaking into the fridge and extra tightening the lids on my jars to give himself job security

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@heartsabustin @nogooddeed2 My kids still like them. I’m assuming I just outgrew them

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@chingasdomingez Sadly I’m still on the grid

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

If you need me, too bad. I’m busy enjoying my new hyper fixation which is watching a guy break down beaver dams to unclog culverts.

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@chingasdomingez I’m in Florida but I’m watching these on YouTube 😂

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

Americans don’t even realize how lucky they are that accents on letters aren’t part of their spelling tests.

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@Looper_Repairs The same way I picked them out for myself. Yellow spot, bee bites, slight hollow sound when you knock on it

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

I just had to pick out 2 watermelons for someone else and that’s too much pressure.

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

Fruit can either be the most delicious thing you’ve eaten all day or mushy garbage. Depends on its mood.

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

I’ve had to do a DoorDash shop at Target 2 days in a row now and I can’t decide if it’s a genius way to save money or a betrayal of the sacred Target experience that is wandering the aisles and adding random items to your cart

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

I like to do this thing where I lie to myself and say I don’t need to add xyz to my grocery list because I’ll remember. I won’t remember.

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

@mbs59er Acknowledged

[It’s Mrs. Matt, actually @SayAnythingH]

A moment of silence for my empty box of gluten free cheez-its.