The Alcoholic

drink, drank, drunk... but I can still function

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

I'm still confused as to why the sink doesn't have a vodka switch.

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Person: wanna come to this thing?
Me: eh, I'm busy
Person: there's free alcohol
Me: what time we leavin?

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

When you take a sip and can't taste the alcohol #SoMe

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Sorry guys, I've been to drink to tweet.

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Cheers to the freakin weekend. I'll drink to that. Yeeeeaahyeeeaaa 🍾🍻🍷🍸🍹

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

I prefer to drink my calories

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Mood: drinking margaritas while someone drives me around in the back of a convertible.

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Someone come over with food and alcohol.

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

I probably would've been the mascot for the anti prohibition movement

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

TipOfTheDay: Always drink with a straw. It's the cheapest way to get drunk faster

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Tuesday Boozeday. Don't forget to take a shot on your way out the door!

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Super Bowl is my excuse to drunk.

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

May I have a vodka soda? hold the soda please.

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Every hour is happy hour for me.

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Drunk and sober are the same. Either way I'm crazy

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

I don't take shots, I take bottles

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

My life is basically the equivalent of what happens after you drink a @fourloko before they changed the ingredients.

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

I'm more likely to crash due to the overplay of Justin Bieber than drinking, so I vote we make that illegal too.

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

Everything is better with lots of tequila

[The Alcoholic @SayYesToAlcohol]

I'm sitting at home wishing I had a alcohol. Now I know why it's called Thirsty Thursday.