Scalias Say What?

🤷‍♀️🤦‍♂️👦👦👧

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

Kids in car talking about poop and making fun of MJS for pooping today and ACS for needing to poop now.

Mom: guys. Everybody poops. And everybody is supposed to poop every day.

Dad: ….AND everyone is supposed to flush after pooping. This is key and has been getting forgotten

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

T: mom. Please don’t kill bugs. They help the plants.
Mom: yes they do
T: William killed a bug one day
Mom: by accident?
T: yes.
Silence
T: that day was today

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

Dad: ACS- so you really have to go to the bathroom or do you just want to go on an adventure?

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

Mom: please go back to your room. You are not the poop patrol.

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

TBSat 9pm running her eyes “but I don’t know anything about being sleepy”

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

dad: ACS stop playing with your penis and sit on the potty

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

Dad: ACS I do not want to catch you doing blindfolded karate in the grocery store again. That could be dangerous.

15 mins later

Mom: ACS what are you doing

ACS with his sweatband over his eyes: playing a game.

Mom: you may not play ANY blindfolded game.

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

TBS at night. Instead of asking you rub her back. She says “will you pet me please?”

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

TBS: I DONT WANT TO GO POTTY
Dad: Tbs, you’re peeing on the potty right now
TBS: I DONT WANT TO GO POTTY
Dad: you just peed on the potty!
TBS: I DONT WANT TO GO POTTY:
Dad: you just went in the potty!
TBS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
mom and dad: ????

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

ACS: can you play squidword on a chair?

Whole family: ?????

ACS: you know. (To the tune of living on a prayer) oooooo squid word on a chairrrrrrrr

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

Mom: “ACS! Your toothbrush does not belong on your penis”

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

Mom and dad: for the last time, ACS please your penis away
ACS: but I’m so excited!!

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

Watching beauty and the beast. Talking about the beast…

TBS: where did the lion go?

ACS: it’s not a lion, it’s a buffalo.

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

Dad: MJS what is on the roof?
MJS: a boomerang, a football, a Gatorade cap, and a tennis ball

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

MJS has to use a port-a-potty bc he has to go # 2
Mom: touch as a little as possible in there.
MJS comes out
MJS: mom I did good I touched as little as possible- my butt didn’t touch the seat the entire time.
Mom: ????
MJS: I put my hands on the toilet seat and held myself up

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

Bedtime with dad and ACS. Mom walks by and hears dad say “we can keep talking about penises while we get dressed. “

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

ACS: oh no! My bones are wiggly! (Wiggles his ankle)

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

ACS: Dad, sorry your phone got a little bit wet. I don’t know how.
Dad: Did you drop it in the toilet?
ACS: Yes, I did.
Dad: Did you pee in the toilet?
ACS: Yes, I did.

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

ACS: Poo and poop are not the same. Poo is like mountains and hallways. Poop is like poop.

[Scalias Say What? @ScaliasSayWhat]

On the way to ED at 2am for croup, and MJS to dad: “Dad there aren’t a lot of cars. Ooo there’s one. Why do you think they are up? What are they doing? So they work at Dunkin?”