Scary Armadillo

Boo! I'm a scary armadillo! (Oh, and a Russian bot. 🤖) I’ll follow back, but I also unfollow back.

[Scary Armadillo @ScaryArmadillo]

My job just started using the tax tables from the tax cut.

My deposited amount went up $52.91 a week.

That’s $2751.32 a year.

My car payment comes to $3120.00 a year.

@NancyPelosi

Apparently I drive “crumbs”.

[Ralph Napolitano @DrRalphNap]

“You hang out with yo-yo’s, you get yo-yo friends.”

- Rocky Balboa https://t.co/p6Gr1EQnnX

[Scary Armadillo @ScaryArmadillo]

@EdLatimore I used to look down on people that got divorces, thinking they just didn’t try hard enough.

Then my marriage blew up.

That was thirteen years, ago, and we’re still married and best friends, but it taught me that it’s freakin hard to stay married.

Very. Freakin. Hard.

[Bill Mitchell @mitchellvii]

SPOUSE: "What did you do at work today honey?"

LIBERAL: "Spent the morning outraged and after lunch tried to take other people's stuff."

SPOUSE: "That's nice dear. I just killed baby girls at the abortion clinic all morning then marched for women's right's in the afternoon."

[Scary Armadillo @ScaryArmadillo]

@ScottInSC_ Pure class, that one.

[Scary Armadillo @ScaryArmadillo]

@piersmorgan Yeah, sorry that our dads who had spent WW1 over there in the trenches didn’t want to send their sons back because you wankers wouldn’t keep the Rhine region disarmed.

What the hell is wrong with you?

[Scary Armadillo @ScaryArmadillo]

@LeePaulElliott @piersmorgan We got your back. 👍

[Nature's Majesty @NatureMajesty]

Where Dinosaurs came from :o 😂

[Benny Johnson @bennyjohnson]

The YouTube shooter was:
• Iranian
• Militant animal rights activist
• Vegan
• Who had a bumper sticker on her car that read “Meat Is Murder”
• Who hated YouTube for being capitalist
• Who quoted Hitler in her videos
• Who took this photo

Now - watch the NRA get blamed

[RJ Andrews @infowetrust]

I got tired of just reading about this

[Scary Armadillo @ScaryArmadillo]

@JackPosobiec I, literally, couldn’t remember her name, earlier today.

I mean, it’s probably because I’m getting old, but still.... 😜

[Scary Armadillo @ScaryArmadillo]

@AlexHammers @WeirdMovieBros Beat me to it!! 😂🤣

[Scary Armadillo @ScaryArmadillo]

@holdmyale

[Scary Armadillo @ScaryArmadillo]

@FailsWork Used to catch my clothes on fire while welding, but not my head. 😂🤣