Jonesy Ray

🏳️‍🌈Life as the Gay Brother🏳️‍🌈

An impossible, highly emotional mess with low self-esteem and really cute dogs.

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

I am sitting here in sweat pants, eating homemade chocolate buttercream from the container and getting excited that Jeopardy! is now on Netflix. Come and get me, boys.

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

This is what my brain does all. Day. Long.

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

🏳️‍🌈Life as the Gay Brother🏳️‍🌈

Single, making scones, watching the Golden Globes and feeling like @FijiWaterGirl is looking right at me cuz knows I'm gonna eat the whole batch by myself...

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

🏳️‍🌈Life as the Gay Brother🏳️‍🌈

Me: (noticing an old brick clocktower) *sigh* I love clocks.

@thappacheen : ...with an "L?"

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

All the coffee mugs in my parents' cabinet say things like "I ❤ Baseball" or "#1 Dad" or "Nurse of the Year" and my #anxiety won't let me use any of them because if I do I'll feel like a fraud who is secretly being judged by the entire family. 😬😬😬

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

@umlikeokay 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

I got new bluetooth earbuds for Christmas & just downloaded the new @cher album of ABBA cover songs so if you need me I'll be dancing in front of my bathroom mirror lip syncing into my flatiron at 9 o'clock on a Friday night & why yes I am still single at 37 how did you know? 🤔

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

Watching "Logan's Run" and feeling like it's a legit parable about the gay community...

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

@EXPIREDLUV @XOJADEXO_ Cute...but I'd rather have a man back there.

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

Had a rough day.
Had no junk food.
Baked cookies.
Ate most of them.
Day better.

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

My cat watches nature documentaries with me. It's like she's trying to remind me where she came from and what she can do to me if I piss her off.

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

I am going to die alone. 😑
#grindrFAIL #grindr #singlelife @Grindr_FAIL

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

I told my 9 y/o niece that when monsters go to sleep, they check under their beds for ME. She now knows to not touch any of my stuff, ever. #UncleOfTheYear

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

Schatze loves going to @OrchardSupply almost as much as I do. #summeriscoming #gardening #outdoors

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

@ItsFoodPorn The cockroach of the sea. 🍤❤😋

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

#NativeProblems #ohwell #singlelife #grindrFAIL @Grindr_FAIL

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

I can't remember when my last date was, but I definitely remember my last threesome. It was this afternoon, on the couch, strictly oral, and was with @benandjerrys 🍦 #ohwell #singlelife

[Jonesy Ray @SchatzePup]

Owning a cat is super easy: it's just finding one disgusting surprise after another, over and over every day until one of you dies.
🐱💩⬇️🛏😖