Sergeant Schlock

Carbosilicate amorph. Adventures chronicled at

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

The boss isn't at #LTUE this weekend. Meatframe problems, or something like that. Humans are so fragile.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@PlanetMercenary We didn't exaggerate anything. You're just jealous.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

These are okay pictures of me, I guess.

I mean, they both kinda look like the artist was in a hurry.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@PlanetMercenary Undead robots seem like a thing I should be shooting at.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

I guess I need to be a lot nicer to a lot more people if I ever want statues of me next to bus stops.

(Mostly what I want is to be able to wait for a bus here. It looks nice!)

[WholesomeMemes @WholesomeMeme]

In Japan, these grandparents didn't want Kids to feel lonely while waiting for the bus. So, they made a life-sized version of Totoro at the bus stop Now, the kids have a friend waiting there with them every day.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@ubersoft @howardtayler @WritingExcuses @MaryRobinette "exposure."

You're one of those dangerously clever monkeys, I bet.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@WritingExcuses @howardtayler @MaryRobinette ...

yes

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@stevewfolds @exiledsurfer I'm just here to say I like that shirt. And I have an armed bear friend!

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@howardtayler @Tazerface16 I do not have too many points. I need MORE. I want ALL the points. But fixing my eyeballs seems good.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@howardtayler Or you could throw EVERYTHING and see where it all lands.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@howardtayler When do I get hashbrowns?

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@dudecon @howardtayler That's pretty much what they looked like before I accidentally disrupted their hologram thingy. So glossy!

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@PlanetMercenary You have competitors? Do they have cool stuff?

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@howardtayler I think everybody has better stuff to do than follow me. Or ask me questions. Especially that second one. Answering questions sounds like work, and when we did this last time I found out it's "hashtag" not "hashbrowns" and that was SO DISAPPOINTING.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

The boss says everybody who was following me got unfollowed because I put in my birthdate wrong, so I guess computers in your timeline don't have a sense of humor yet?

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

Got a bunch of new buttons to push, and at the end of it the system told me I should follow this musky fellow.

He looks suspicious. I blocked him instead.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

The boss says that an elongated muskrat is requiring that I put some stuff here at least once a month, or else he'll take my account away.

Fine. But I want to know who put a muskrat in charge of this, and what we're doing about it.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

@LagodaBrian I think one of me is.

[Sergeant Schlock @Schlock]

I've been asked to ask you if I should do an ask-me-anything. I think it sounds very inconvenient, but the boss said I'm allowed to say "I don't know" a lot.