Schloemtown

[Nicolas Hull @Nhull28]

"Ice cream is one of the most weather-dependent products in the world," explained Jiang, who worked in corporate banking before swirling soft serve.

"We lose about 20 percent of business when the weather goes below 70 degrees... So we're essentially hedging that profit loss on the app.

[Anna Hoffman @shoesonplease]

It’s like Gru from Despicable Me and Melissa McCarthy from SNL had a baby raised by Matt Foley in a van down by the river:

[MAZE @mazemoore]

This is amazing.

Scott Galloway on Elon Musk's "nazi salutes" (which didn't actually happen) vs. Scott Galloway on Graham Platner's nazi tattoo.

What a broken mind. What an absolute clown.

[Schloemtown @Schloemtown]

@minc798 Not a single Michigan city…not entirely surprising. What other states don’t have a city here?

[Josh Hart @joshhart]

🔥🔥🔥 Whoever has ears let them hear

[Andy McBroom @AndyJMacc]

Like I said, Canada is how people around the world think the United States is

[Hunter Ryerson @huntryerson]

Detroit is, moreso than DC, the capital of America. It is a pure distillation of our Republic; its golden age was our golden age, its problems are our problems. Its tragic fall is ours. Those who cared enough to salvage it are the best of us. We win when Detroit is great again.

[paleoneoliberal @armsq17]

Throwing more money at public schools, even doubling teacher salaries, has virtually no effect on student outcomes.

[Jelani Nelson @minilek]

I spoke with someone who contributed to another report, separate from the academic senate report, that advised Napolitano in her SAT decision-making. What he said, paraphrasing:

“Jelani, what if the admissions objective is not to admit the students who will perform the best academically, but to admit the students who would benefit the most from a Berkeley degree, say as measured by increase in lifetime earnings.”

Of course, if you start producing graduates that are substantially weaker, high-paying employers will notice and cut back on hiring your graduates. Their counter is some idealized/wishful thinking that the university experience is so transformational that it can turn any student into a diamond coming out, even if they didn’t know how to add fractions coming in.

Link to the second report: https://t.co/6cPothHFJm

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Jay Barlow @barlowjacob]

Most performative wanker I’ve ever seen 😂 always facing the camera doing the most cringe shit 💀

[B/R Football @brfootball]

He came, he saw, he conquered.

The Pep era is over 👑

[Hunter📈🌈📊 @StatisticUrban]

The first English-speaking jurisdiction to abolish the death penalty in the entire world was Michigan, in 1847.

[Jacob Titus @jacob__titus]

We’re finding the ancient texts.

[Evan LobSPEAKER @lobspeaker]

Should this happen, I vow to eat Little Caesars every day from date of signing/trade until the Wings win the cup or McDavid’s contract is up. Your move Pizza Boy. @IlitchCompanies

[Andrew Kaczynski @KFILE]

NEW on CNN: Mallory McMorrow quietly deleted thousands of old tweets after launching her Senate campaign. Posts in which she took jabs at the rural Midwest, lamented ever leaving California, and said she continued to vote there after she said she’d moved permanently to Michigan.

[FXHedge @Fxhedgers]

The Vice President of the USA only earns $235,100.
The Speaker of the House earns $223,500.
Members of Congress make $174,000.

Thousands of USAID employees, contractors and "VP of non-profit" were living large on taxpayer funding and generating nothing of any value.

It was all fake work for left wing activists.

[Senator Eric Schmitt @SenEricSchmitt]

NYT frames this as if USAID employees had a quasi-property right to high-paying, taxpayer-funded jobs.

In reality, this tells a darker story—we spent half-a-century debt-financing a managerial class of Leftists whose only qualifications were ideological.

[New York Post @nypost]

Detroit offering significant cash incentives to attract newcomers and spark growth in city https://t.co/O6sba5k4Gi