Sam the Schnauzer

Mini Schnauzer with a miraculous grasp of English and a decent secretary (@ismarah)

Mostly horizontal tweets.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

Unbelievable... We. Only. Rate. Dogs. Please stop sending in other things like this Blossoming Flop Kangaroo. Thank you... 11/10

[Featured Creature @ftcreature]

look i made dis

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

wat did we do to deserve dogs & wat helish unspeakabel crime did ancient dogs do agaimst the natural order of the universe to be bound to us

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

I've spent all day wrestling with the same damn paragraph, but this afternoon my dog was rated on @dog_rates and that's everything 🐶⭐️ https://t.co/OO0KeAtSGz

[Serenity Discko @serenitydiscko]

You're beautiful and are gonna do great today

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

Your dog is allowed to be your valentine I checked

[Sam the Schnauzer @SchnauzerTweets]

Why oh why do I always have to have a furcut in the coldest darkest most miserablest bits of winter?!
Good thing we have gazillion blankets.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Dexter. He was reunited with his mom yesterday after she was stuck in Iran during the travel Bannon. 13/10 welcome home

[Sam the Schnauzer @SchnauzerTweets]

Bugger. Mamma finally found a brush that doesn’t offend me. I am now a well groomed pensioner #fancyschnauz
She’s used her #birchbox brush!

[Peter Merholz @peterme]

.@dog_rates do you rate bats? This is Milo.

[a glizzy of earthsea @ICELEVEL]

I stand with WeRateDogs

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

Here's a very loving and accepting puppo. Appears to have read her Constitution well. 14/10 would pat head approvingly

[Snollygoster Goon @RiffRaff1971]

He threw a stick, but he didn't really throw it.

[Sam the Schnauzer @SchnauzerTweets]

So. This is how the hoopup treats dogs. #appalledSchnauz

What’s worse is one is called Sam and the other is Lukas!