Scooter Harrington

I'm a cooler version of Denzel Washington . . . with a bigger penis . . . and longer pubes

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

Harris Walz sounds like Hairy Balls

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

show me a photo of a grown up man on his birthday at a restaurant, with a candle in his free dessert, who doesn't look mentally slow. #birthday

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

Joe Biden attacked the #houties but who is going to attack the blowfish?

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

My wife won't make me beef stroganoff because it's bad for my cholesterol . . . so I asked, will you at least start stroke-n-off my beef?

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

I really wanna wear low rise jeans like Jennifer Lopez, but I am afraid my billowing pubic hair will stick out. #jenniferlopez

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

Seattle is actually pretty great. sure it rains all the time, but have you seen the Space Needle?!?!?! it's an architectural masterpiece and it's the same size as my penis (when flaccid) #SeattleOrcas #seattle #spaceneedle

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

what's "The San Francisco Treat"? Rice-A-Roni or cock?

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

let me start off by saying that I respect women . . . but International Women's Day is the dumbest fuckin holiday I've ever heard of.

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

Obama - Osama Bin Laden
Trump - Abu Bakr-Al Baghdadi
Biden - a balloon

#ChineseSpyBalloon

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

I haven't see this much excitement about a ball drop since I hit puberty in 6th grade

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

Just read the news . . . did President Biden just free someone called "the lord of destruction" in exchange for a WNBA player? seems like a good trade. Is he the GM for the Bad News Bears? #BrittneyGriner

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

If you are a man, and you display your pronoun as "he/him" on linked in. . . you are probably wrong

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

I've been told not to use the term "meat wallet" to refer to vaginas anymore. . . REQUEST DENIED

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

DOn't FucKs wiTh Me iF yOu HaVe MoNkEy PoX

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

you guys ever blast a huge shit out of your ass like a canon, while at work? . . . (in the toilet of course) . . . discuss #hashtag

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

to help out with this baby formula shortage I will let anyone suck as much milk out of my titties as possible. If interested, go to Longhorn Steakhouse on Route 17 and meet me by the dumpster. #babyformula #BabyFormulaShortage

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

Happy Mothers Day to all the Mothers out there, and to all the Fathers who breastfeed.

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

Don't you think it's a little patronizing, at halftime, to let the disabled kid make a layup (after a hundred tries) and pretend it's the game winning shot?

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

@BachelorFantake Glad you are doing better!!!! We Love your content!!!!!!

[Scooter Harrington @ScooterboyH]

Pretty embarrassing for women everywhere . . . the first woman to win over $1 million on jeopardy is actually a dude. #Jeopardy