Scott Disick

| Lord Disick But For Short Just Call Me L.D | Parody | Not Associated with Scott Disick |

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

I think there's finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Friends are like condoms: They protect you when things get hard.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Dear sidewalk, Please get wider... Sincerely, third friend walking behind feeling excluded...

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Whoever '"Shawty" is, she apparently has a lot of rapper boyfriends.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

So tired of girls complaining that there are no good guys left. Hello?? They’re where you left them, IN THE FRIEND ZONE!

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Monorails make for good one-liners.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

God loves me even when I don't forward those chain letters.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Everything is made in China. Except for babies. They are made in VaChina.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

168 McDonald's monopoly pieces later, and all I won was heart disease.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Face down, a** up, that's the way we............ tie our shoes!

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Some people are just like trees, they take forever to grow up

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Buy a ship. Name it relation. Go inside and sit in it. You are in a relationship.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Siri's on her period. She needs an iPad.

[Scott Disick @ScottDisiick]

Getting into a relationship may be tempting but so was getting on the titanic ship and look what happened there.