Scott Proclaims

The Wit, Wisdom, and Other as spoken by Scott Johnson (and friends) of Frogpants Studios.

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

SCOTT PROCLAIMS: If you’re looking for all the ways to “get with us”.... you can go over to https://t.co/rrXd2yxHAj. (TMS 1812)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

SCOTT PROCLAIMS: It’s like that old song, “Spammio killed the Phonyo Star”.
IBBOTT INTERJECTS: Just like that song by the Bugles, not by the Buggles. (TMS 1812)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

SCOTT PROCLAIMS: We love some Oscar bait. Mmmm... Oscar bait.
IBBOTT INTERJECTS: I’m a chronic Oscarbator. (TMS 1812)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

IBBOTT INTERJECTS: She’s doing her crossword puzzle and she’s like, “I need your help. Nook’s partner?” And I said “is it like 6 letters?” She says yes. And I said “cranny”. And she said “oh yeah thanks, I don’t play chess.” (TMSPM 1811)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

SCOTT PROCLAIMS: LaundryScent... is that a lady or a man?
IBBOTT INTERJECTS: I don’t know, but they smell lovely. (TMSPM 1811)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

IBBOTT INTERJECTS: Slippin’ Peter!
SCOTT PROCLAIMS: Yep, slippin’ Peter!
IBBOTT INTERJECTS: Everything we say sounds dirty. (TMSPM 1811)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

So he’s got the one over here and then another one just burst through the ole skin cave. (TMSPM 1811)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

IBBOTT INTERJECTS, with Scott harmonizing: 🎶Even though we don’t have money, I’m so in love with you honey.🎶 (TMS 1810)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

IBBOTT INTERJECTS: Oh yeah boy, once you call him “Brad” Cooper, he does sound like a dick.
SCOTT PROCLAIMS: He sounds like a total dick in high school or something. What happened to my locker? Freakin’ Brad Cooper broke in and took everything out. (TMS 1810)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

A-word! Please turn on the lights! (TMS 1810)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

IBBOTT INTERJECTS: But I was going to go to Toshi station to get some metabo-receptors. (TMS 1810)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

I have to poo real bad. (TMS 1810)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

SPAGNUOLO SPEAKS: You say that word a lot Scott.
SCOTT PROCLAIMS: What? Shit?
SS: Yes.
SP: Oh yeah.
SS: There are little kids that could be listening.
SP: I know and they need to know what a shit is... it’s when you take a poo. It’s a little shit. (TMS 1809)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

DUNAWAY DECLARES: So the question is really, name planets or moons. (TMS 1809)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

Is Hell’s Blanket the blanket your dad would throw over the tv? (TMS 1809)

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[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

IBBOTT INTERJECTS: Your ver-gina is perfect just the way it is. (TMS 1808)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

IBBOTT INTERJECTS: Yeah that burns in the mouth, I can’t even imagine... I can not even imagine the pain associated with that. (TMS 1808)

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

SCOTT PROCLAIMS: ‘Tis a myth that toothpaste will tighten the vagina.
IBBOTT INTERJECTS: Go back to using Tide pods.
SCOTT PROCLAIMS: Tide pods are the wave of the future. (TMS 1808)
***Please use Tide pods responsibly!

[Scott Proclaims @ScottProclaims]

SCOTT PROCLAIMS: Arthur Bourbon Harbour the III.
Oh Harbour, David Harbour!
IBBOTT INTERJECTS: It is Harbour, very good. You still pulled ship into harbour for that one. (TMS 1808)