Sean Bair Flannery

I'm a comic in Chicago. My first book, "Places I Can't Return To" is available now on my website. I created & host The Blackout Diaries.

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

My book "Place I Can't Return To" is out everywhere! You can also read or listen to it FOR FREE at my website! It's funny. In fact, if its not the funniest book you read this year, meet me @thelincolnlodge any Friday & your first 6 Malorts are on me (can not accept less than 6)

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

This is how punishing the Clippers penalty is- it *almost* matches the cost The Browns voluntarily gave up to sign Deshaun Watson.

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

Me scrolling down to find The Browns on every NFL preseason power ranking article:

[James Fritz @fritzisdead]

At long last, this is when what’s left of America will be destroyed.

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

The Blackout Diaries is being taken over by Windy City Comedy Fest tonight! An amazing lineup of local + out-of-town drunks will be telling hilarious stories- with photos from the events. Stop by! 10 PM @thelincolnlodge

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

Honest Press Conference:
GM: This was the best trade offer for Skubal, given his expiring contract
PRESS: Then why didn't you trade him last year? If you knew this would happen?
GM: Well our goal is not to maximize franchise wins. It's to create the appearance of maximizing fr...

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

I don’t care what draft kings sets the money line at- bet it *all* on Romo beating that DUI charge. After seeing that video, he wouldn’t be convicted by a jury of Eagles fans, let alone your average Milwaukee resident.

[CJ Sullivan @CJSullivan_]

Deleting 20 years of LeBron crybaby tweets

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

Haven’t followed the AP style guidelines in years- when did we mandate that “explosive” must precede all uses of “diarrhea”??

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

Cutout of New Huntington Bank Field, the future home of The Cleveland Browns. Never has a new stadium so matched the energy of its team. The playing field is deep underneath; past where we bury the dead, but not quite in Hell.

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

This system was terrible for visiting drunks. Drunks usually think their driver is swindling them, even in normal-metered systems, let alone in this confusing labyrinth of zones and charges. I saw so many arguments and fights outside DC bars over cab fare.

[Ghosts of DC @GhostsofDC]

For 75 years, a DC cab ride wasn't priced by distance, but by invisible lines drawn across the city. Congress fought to keep it that way until 2008.

https://t.co/4ndg3NerKx

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

Great lineup tonight for The Blackout Diaries! 10 PM @ @thelincolnlodge Come by!

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

This photo is from a NYT article on Giant Hogweed, an invasive plant so toxic, touching it can land you in the hospital with life-long scars. The good news is -- and boy is it a whopper-- John Candy is alive, works for the Department of Agriculture, and is saving us from it

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog went to NYC's Knicks parade to rile up fans, march with the players, heckle Timothée Chalamet, and cross paths with his old pal Jon Stewart
@triumphicdhq

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

Surprised that renowned blues singer James Dolan would be a subpar public speaker.

[Awful Announcing @awfulannouncing]

"I don't need your vote. I don't need to quote to you about what happened here, because if you're real Knick fans, you know it already" – Jim Dolan with a much less rousing speech

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

If a QB murders someone- the police takeover. Fans don't need that enforced. They want schools and coaches to step-up when athletes do something that isn't criminal but ruins the game, like cheating or gambling. And Texas Tech is sliding down, not stepping up.

[Paul Finebaum @finebaum]

"It's crazy...because it's not murder, it's not beating somebody..."

Texas Tech head coach Joey McGuire defends his QB Brendan Sorsby, who's under fire for gambling on his own team's football games:

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

Texas Tech going to the mat -risking their entire athletic department and maybe even the overall idea of collegiate sports- for a 22 year old transfer QB that has never thrown for 3K yards and will never play in the NFL is a pretty insane choice.

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

@slmandel Probably betting sites too. If fans / bettors believe that the athletes can bet on themselves, credibility plummets and no one bets since they can't trust that they will get an honest result.

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

Okay, we put TOP GUN 3 on hiatus. Hold, on. Hear me out! Instead, Tom Cruise plays an old bartender who works at a brewery where customers play board games and barely drink. He teaches them to how to party! Yep- COCKTAIL 2. Tagline: 40 years later, its still 5 o'clock somewhere

[Chris Tannehill @ChrisTannehill]

There were so many great calls but this is my favorite Stacey deep cut

[Sean Bair Flannery @sean_m_flannery]

The Myles Garrett trade is *close* to being a solid trade for The Browns. And because The Browns are not existentially capable of good trades, we must assume Verse's career will tank in Cleveland, as all Browns trades must become laughably bad in the long run.