Sean Beachnau

I tell dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs.

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Get your bread king

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

This years Thanksgiving drinking game: watch the #MacysParade and take a drink every time you don’t know the random tween celebrity on a float

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

From now on I’m never betting against Rodgers hurting my feelings again

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Any draft day as a #Lions fan

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Other halftime performances: *Normal singing*

The Weekend:

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Guy walks into the eye doctor: “Yea it’s weird my vision isn’t 20/20 anymore. It feels more like 20/21 vision.”

It’s me. I’m the guy

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

I need another movie like The Big Short so Ryan Gosling can tell me how much hedge funds suck

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Just imagine reading this headline like 10 years ago and trying to make sense of any of it

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Wanna bet that the guy who stole the podium has it sitting in his living room like a college kid who stole a traffic cone

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Tell me a Bills vs. Browns AFC Championship would not be the most electric game ever

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

You gotta stick to the hits

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

How do you get in the Christmas spirit this holiday season? Don’t worry I got ya covered

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

I’m down to play some Smash Bros. on the IMAX who’s chipping in with me

[IGN @IGN]

AMC launches private theater rentals for $99 a pop. 🍿 (via @PCMag)
https://t.co/Afm1BdSdpN

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Feeling like MSU will suck for the rest of the season. Still beat Michigan though so its a success

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Gotta fire whoever was in charge of keeping track of Michigan’s timeouts on the tv graphic

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Make a statue of Prater already and put it right out front of Ford Field #OnePride

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

You have no idea how excited I am to get heartbroken this year now that we have AP #Lions #OnePride

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Understand that if you tailgate me when I’m already speeding then I’m gonna start driving slower

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I could say the #Tigers are tied for first in the division at the end of July

[Sean Beachnau @SeanyBeachNow]

Gonna be a rough week for the Pronto Pup PR team