Fake Seattle Mayor

The only choice for a moderately better Seattle.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

Dangerous, bad for #Seattle? Insurrectionist @SeattleCouncil: http://t.co/kiOW9s3NWh @cmkshama @CMMikeOBrien @nicklicata #thinkofthechildren

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

OK, who in City Hall leaked our plan for @kcmetrobus? #Seattle #Everyoneisminetotorment

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

.@UniteHereLocal8 rouses me from my slumber! Another staffer shall be sacrificed to feed my hunger! The press guy was only first!

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

#occupyseattle to be ejected from Westlake due to the general assembly not recognizing the deep bore tunnel as part of the 1%.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

Effective 10pm today, #occupyseattle may stay at Westlake if they pay overtime costs of police who are trying to remove them.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

Due to an officer kicking a suspect in the face: http://bit.ly/d6p9H4 I have issued an order barring shoes from SPD uniforms. ^feet

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

I reject that we are 'chaotic'. We in fact have cached deputy mayors lined up--just in case we keep losing them: http://bit.ly/byQe7P

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

Land baron: Seattle is "knifing" retail. We were aiming for the tunnel. Our bad. http://bit.ly/9efQsW

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

According to @joelconnelly I will drive people to the suburbs from #Seattle. False. I will actually electric bike them out.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

In honor of the forthcoming #Chihuly Museum at #Seattle Center, I hereby proclaim this KEXP Day In Seattle.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

City council has voiced opposition to my plans to replace the seawall. Due to this, I declare January 20th to be Obstructionist Day.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

Due to ongoing #Seattle budget issues I will work with the Council to legalize and then tax recreational phenylalanine users.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

Due to recent muggings near 3rd & Pike area, I have authorized the use of a 2010 ballot initiative to determine how to clean up this area.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

Named Edgar Martínez deputy mayor of #Seattle. As the only living person with a road named after him he is ideally suited.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

To reconcile #Seattle budget issues, we will be installing tolls for all Lake Union sea planes.

[Fake Seattle Mayor @SeattleMayor]

All displaced Seattleites will be housed at Belleview Square. RT @mbdfilms @Earth_News: Megaquake Looms Over #Seattle http://bit.ly/3MWMRZ