FakeEnjenir

Part time engineer, full time shit poster. Specializes in mild takes and popular opinions.

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

.@Dennis_Rodkin I recently came across your reporting from 2 years ago on the Gold Coast 'Phantom Building' of 1447 N. Dearborn Parkway. Seems like there have been some updates on the building recently https://t.co/lInUJiErh0

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

Check out #GoodreadsYearinBooks @goodreads to discover the 24 books I read in 2024! https://t.co/GOL3XVt8Uu

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

Panda Express: "Would you like to donate to XYZ Charity?"

No, if I had that money I would have paid the extra $1.50 for the shrimp.

[Taylor Swift @taylorswift13]

Midnights, the stories of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life, will be out October 21. Meet me at midnight.

Pre-order now: https://t.co/jjqUNkphuG

[The White House 46 Archived @WhiteHouse46]

Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene had $183,504 in PPP loans forgiven.

https://t.co/4FoCymt8TB

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

When your boss is like "Could we JUST add this to that .... "

NO. That would require me to restructure the entire architecture of the code and would take me 3 days. Just live with this.

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

When you're expected to work 8 hours a day but 4 of those are filled with pointless meetings. How are you supposed to get shit done?

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

Here's the problem with waking up super early in the morning, by the time you're done with your morning routine, back from the gym, have had your second breakfast, etc, you check the time and it's not even 7 yet. And that's annoying

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

When your company gives you a mid year salary increase of 1% because of inflation. Bro, if it's gonna be 1% you might as well save it. It's insulting at this point. Welp, time to update the resume I guess.

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

I swear everyone I know makes like $500k a year or something based on their lifestyles

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

I swear the campuses of all Midwestern state schools look exactly the same.

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

With all due respect (which is very little), we are more than 2 years into the pandemic and if you're still struggling to share your screen that means something is not right.

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

My new found joy is seeing the green ticks when my commit passes all CI/CD tests

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

Taylor Swift got an honorary doctorate from NYU. As a fellow Dr. now I can finally say I have something in common with her.

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

So people go on dates on week nights? Nah man, my week nights are absolutely packed with me doing nothing

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

The chance of one being one of the greatest in their respective field increases substantially if they are named Michael. Some examples include Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson, Mike (Michael) Tyson, and Michael Schumacher.

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

I turn my PS4 on once every few weeks with the intention to play something but every damn time I end up waiting 20 mins for the system to update and not playing anything because I get bored

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

If all of us lonely people could come together then we probably wouldn't be lonely anymore. But again, many of us just hate having people around

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

The length of the pants a man wears in the office in the summer is inversely proportional to his importance in said office.

[FakeEnjenir @Sebasti42306234]

I feel like I'm single handedly carrying lots of wannabe influencers on TikTok