Øwēñ

Life is about balance. The highs and lows, the good and bad, or the hot and cold. Because a warm burrito is a happy burrito.

[Goblin Moder @mischiefanimals]

good morning guys

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

Do king cobras know they’re royalty?

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

☹️

[J. Mulholland @MulhollandL0ver]

Ryan Gosling said “I ain’t with that gay shit”

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

Still thinking about how my wife doesn't like sloths. Importance of really knowing a person before popping the question you guys

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

This whole submarine thing feels like a Nathan For You episode

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

You can hate the hbo rebrand all you want. MAX has all seasons of How it’s made.

[Hank Green @hankgreen]

I want to spend a week living in the universe where we domesticated raccoons instead of dogs.

You know they'd just be hanging out in your house drinking coca cola and trying to figure out what to watch on Netflix.

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

There’s literally an endless list of school shootings but you’re calling a social media app a threat??? You want to protect kids from drag queens????

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

Why are raspberries so expensive??? Aren’t they like invasive???

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

Tofu is vegan cheese.

[B @the_petshopboy]

Me at work tomorrow for the first time in two weeks trying to remember what it is I do.

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

If you didn’t recreate the scene from lion king with your newborn, did you actually have a newborn? #Iykyk

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

@texan_steve Not with that attitude.

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

Listen. So the odds of winning powerball is like 1 in 300mil right? So if you buy out every single possible combination, that will only cost you $600mil. With the jackpot being $1.9 BILLION. You’d still win $1.3 BILLION.

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

@texan_steve That’s over 400… so what you’re saying is it’s possible 😏😏

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

Granted, if I had 600mil. I will not be playing the powerball.

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

@KaylinAmalie You’d think one of us is the left one. But we’re both the right one

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

Why is zipper merge such a wild concept for people

[Øwēñ @SecretAsianLu]

Do you write 0s and Os the same way? Or you go out of your way to make them look different?

[Jesse McLaren @McJesse]

Fuck it, let’s domesticate a new animal.