SecretClubManager

Tales from behind the desk of a Golf Club Manager. You know.....the people who drink tea all day......right?!?!

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

Also amazing how for 4 months last year due to covid out course was members only and the pitchmark problem didn't get any better. Easy to blame visitors for your own failings .........respect your course members!!

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

Ohhh I'm nursing a semi reading this 😍

[Tiger Woods @TigerWoods]

I will be heading up to Augusta today to continue my preparation and practice. It will be a game-time decision on whether I compete. Congratulations to 16-year-old Anna Davis on an amazing win at the @anwagolf and good luck to all the kids in the @DriveChipPutt.

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

@golfmanagergm Wouldn't mind Karen interviewing me let me tell you 😍

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

Comment of 2022 so far ⬇️⬇️

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

Add it to the Captain's tab 😜

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

You'd be shocked to hear what went on at my works Christmas party last year @GNev2 😁 If you get me Sir 😘😜

[Gary Neville @GNev2]

An email just sent to Bolton MP Mark Logan .

Send a letter to yours if you like .

#whoattendedtheparty

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

Only God or a block of 10 lessons could manage that.......

The games hard enough without restricting yourself on club choice 😬 #daft

[David Hares @Haresey66]

@SecretClubMana3 So having more clubs would make her a better player?

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

Had a chat with a member today who told me she only takes a half set out in the winter.......

WHY?

You're a 23 handicap and useless with a full set never mind having half the options!!!

Never understood that one personally ....🙄🙄

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

The dreaded Winter Maintenance........

Every golfers nightmare 🤣🤣

[British & International Golf Greenkeepers Assn. @BIGGALtd]

From 5pm today, we will be performing scheduled maintenance on our website and expect to be back on line within 24 hours.
In the meantime, our team can help you with any queries, so please contact [email protected] or 01347 833800 during office hours.

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

Like snogging the Office Assistant in the taxi on the way home from the Christmas Night out ........nobody to see it.....but still counts 👌

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

Exactly! Isn't it great 😁

The funny thing is, you won't even pick up on it as it's filed under "miscellaneous expenses" in the Annual Accounts 😜

[Ivor Meddler Ignorant Member @ivormeddler]

They’re “there to learn” though 👀

Once they’ve finished this what’s next?

Off to the jacuzzi, liquid lunch and a trip to the strip club all in our Club’s money?

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

@golfmanagergm Look forward to listening. Always good to learn from my peers 😁👌👍

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

@Drummerred @AlanTait9 That's usually what our members say when I announce our fee structure for the coming year......

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

@ivormeddler @AlanTait9 Well it is winter after all.........#snowflake

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

@golfmanagergm Enjoy!! I've been up the loft to check on our carrier pigeons. Almost time for them to deliver our paper diaries to the members 😳🙄 They're in good shape and raring to go!!! #stuckindarkages #paperdiary

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

When a member calls in the middle of November looking for their CDH number but insists it's for entering an open competition next summer .......

#ismellbullshit #cancellingdd #justbehonest

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

@StevenPeet1981 Very true 🤣🤣 next the chef will want his own parking space with his name on it.......ohh wait.....The Captain has one of those 🙄

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

Exactly! Or when they refer to the Head chef as "Chef". How up yourself - making people call you chef?

"Yes G.M"
"Thank you G.M"
"Please G.M"

Imagine that! How arrogant 😳

[Steven Peet @StevenPeet1981]

Why does it annoy me so much when the chefs on Masterchef say ‘oui’?!!

[SecretClubManager @SecretClubMana3]

@ivormeddler Don't worry @ivormeddler he blocked me months ago. Haven't lost a wink of sleep since 🤣🤣🤣