Eden

Absolutely terrible human being

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@MarycabMC @MichaelBePetty I just googled it and oh…oh my 😂

[Blue Ivy’s Sunglasses @KingLouie8th]

If anyone needs a little motivation today, call [phone].

It’s a school project where kindergarteners give you a pep talk.

It’s so cute 🥹😅. And it’s automated!

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@EuphoriTori Women are so good to me

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@MichaelBePetty I remember when she first hopped on Twitter and her bio was “It’s purple glitter, from the foodie beauty chats!” And I was like babyyyy I am embarrassed for you 😂

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@Margolndigo @ThreeDailey I literally cackled the first time she tried to go off about how her job was significantly harder than those of us peasants, and she ended up laying out her whole EIGHT hour day 😂 Like baby…read the room

[Mike Solana @micsolana]

my bf is on a plane to miami right now and a bulldog in the row next to him just had diarrhea. everyone freaked out, the dog owner began sobbing, and the dog escaped. now, covered in poo, it is running around the plane. people are lifting up their legs and screaming.

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

I just described myself on my resume as a “disciplined and self-motivated individual with an extensive and varied skill set spanning both client and non-client facing industries” which is a fancy way to say I’ve worked in both a laboratory and strip club.

[Kimmy Kasi @Kimmykasi]

Idc what no one says paying back student loans is so ghetto and I refuse to participate.

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@RaychelTania @MarycabMC He’d certainly snap like one of those two absolute units were playing tug of war with him.

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@MarycabMC Omg if she wasn’t an angry ball of adipose and spite I would feel bad for her but lollll I’m cackling

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

Just realized I’ve been walking around the house for an hour and my Apple Watch is on its dock. I quit. Day over. Everything is terrible. Might as well not even work out. 😂

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@feckenbaskin Awww thank you 🥹 and yes I agree, I think there is a great deal of self loathing there. It must be especially bad when she gets rejected by the men she believes are beneath her.

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

I wish I had her brand of body dysmorphia instead of the type I got lol

[charlie gold • 🏊🏾‍♀️🪑 @chxrliegold]

chantal said she’s prettier than 90% of people on youtube, so therefore there’s no reason she’d ever have to pay for sex

i-

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@nocontextfoodie If you told me climate change wasn’t real and that global temperatures were rising as a result of Chantal’s gravitational pull fucking with the atmosphere, I would believe you.

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@MarycabMC Thank you 🥹 that means a lot, I’ve been working really hard. I wish I was half as gorgeous as you! You’re beautiful 😍

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

Small gainz everyday 💪🏼💕 Also, can someone please give me a TL;DR on Chantal? I cut out during the DD DV arc because I just couldn’t with that, and now I’m lost.

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

#NewProfilePic

[Eden @SecretlySiren]

@MarycabMC Mine had me get her a bowl full of perfectly cut strawberries and demanded I put them on the pool steps, moments before doing a cannonball and filling the bowl up with pool water. Toddlers are fun. 😡