Vincent Globuli

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

This ant thought it was an "and" and tried to connect words. Later it was criticised by an anonymous and-eater who disliked long sentences.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

A terrorist stole my hat. He later mistook it for a bomb and just threw it back on my head.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

This one guy tried to assassinate me in my palace, but he accidentally revealed his plan in a letter to the Secretary of Defense.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

I fell off my throne and lost my crown. The people were not amused and exiled my personal adviser. He forgot his tennis-shoes.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

Today it is so fashionable to talk about elephants. But does it make you really that cool?

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

@TheWarOwl you sound like Captain Ahab

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

If you build a raft with Lenin, don't give him all the wood. He will just use it to build some kind of floating structure.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

I was feeding the penguins under my bed when I realized that an igloo could use a door lock. Maybe the zoo-keeper would help me with that.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

Drilling a safe can easily get boring. That's why you should always bring your walkman to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

Today three questions were killed by one answer. The answer was later revealed to be Isaac Newton. He has issued an apology.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

Yesterday I couldn't find my moral compass. Then I remembered that I had lent it to Lord Voldemort.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

Michelangelo should spend less time chasing these grasshopers. He is supposed to finish his ceiling before supper.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

Once Leonardo da Vinci gave me this flying machine, but it didn't function properly, and I fell into the ocean and perished.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

The thing about carrier pigeons is that they often refuse to encrypt your messages.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

Yesterstay I photographed an elephant. Only later I realized it was my giant intellect, doing an impression of an elephant.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

@lurie_john i liked you until you pretented to be a linguist

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

If you build a raft, don't forget to use good wood. I recommend oak.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

@TheWarOwl hey man, are you really related to Ernest Hemingway?

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

I bought a parrot. He didn't unterstand the concept of repetition. So I shot him. He shot back and killed me. I wrote this before I died.

[Vincent Globuli @Seisum]

Tweeting at this stage feels a lot like talking to yourself in a cave in the jungle. You might hear a parrot. This can cause confusion.