Zesty Nugget

i fall for it everytime

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

If I had a nickel for every wisdom tooth I have, I’d have 2 nickels. Which is weird considering my orthodontist was under the impression that I had none.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

When I was little I use to call my father daddy but now that I’m older I just call him dead.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

@Swim4Hope I would do unholy things for this cake.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

@Swim4Hope You just gotta do one. I promise you are capable.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

There is nothing like going on your first walk with your dogs for the season and realizing just how out of shape you got during winter.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

Forget walk of shame, have you ever cleaned out your car parts from the ditch you wrecked your car into. Humbling.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

I would wreck my car on the last day of winter. Totally on brand for me.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

Why did Siri pop up on my Mac book when I was dead silent. Apparently it heard a some one asking why she is a bitch.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

My grandmother thinks West Virginia and Virginia ate the same place and at this point in her life, I’m just gonna let her believe it.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

Sometimes I forget just how traumatizing college was for me, I had a whole ass stalker at one point.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

Why are all bras in my size like $50? Like it’s is a lil ridiculous, how expensive the undergarments are getting.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

I was getting a pre-employment physical today, the doctor asked what type of degree I needed for the position and when I said I have bachelor’s he looked dumbfounded. In his defense he did think I was 16 up to this point.

[John Summit @johnsummit]

i will no longer tolerate the slander of those who sleep with socks on. it is the comfiest way to sleep and i will die on this hill

[maia @mxmtoon]

GROWING UP IS SO HARD AND COVID MADE EVERYTHING SO MUCH HARDER LIKE I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAS 19 WHEN COVID STARTED AND I’M TURNING 23 THIS YEAR AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVEN'T PROGRESSED PAST BEING 19 BUT INSTEAD JUST GOT MENTALLY WORSE AND PHYSICALLY OLDER

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

I have never had to work so hard to keep a cat alive in my life. Twitch has no self preservation. This video sums up our day to day life.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

I wish to be as unhinged as I was when I lost my virginity and called my mom after to sing the “I just had sex”song to her. That girl was having a great time.

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

I do not like contractions, I think they are confusing and stupid and how much time do they really save?

[Zesty Nugget @SelanMadison]

Went trick or treating with my lil cousins, so many people tried to give me candy, I could have been getting free candy as an adult this whole time. Why did even stop trick or treating in high school? Cause it certainly wasn’t because I looked to old to do it.