grandma selma.

just an innocent grandma looking to connect with the ' hip ' people.

please don't be mean to me. i'm just an innocent grandma :(.

here are some muffins.

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

i fecking hate olivia. #itsyegrandma #funkymuffins #funtimes #aye

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

satan should be liked more;; don't @ me. @SelmaGrandma #itsyegrandma #hellisfun #youareloved #retirementhome #selflove #bowdownmortals

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

@_toxicality @kidzwithbugz that's one dollar for the swear jar :( - puts your money into the sixty seventh swear jar -

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

can anyone tell me how to carve a wooden shiv from a chair leg? thanks in advance. #itsyegrandma #hellisfun #woodwork

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

that fecking prune olivia tried to change the channel from the great british bake off to a gardening documentary so i nearly broke her hand so she'd let go of the fecking remote. #itsyegrandma #funkymuffins #funtimes #aye #grandma #partytime #awyeah #letsgotohell #FightForFreedom

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

i honestly think @GretaThunberg is amazing. we should invest in the wellbeing of everyone and this earth. honestly, boris, get your head screwed on right. #climatechange #globalwarming #savetheearth #environment #weareamazing #letssaveearth #lovelife #itsyegrandma #September

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

get you a grandma who can do both but with muffins. #itsyegrandma #funkymuffins #funtimes #aye #grandma #partytime #awyeah #letsgotohell #ohokaythanksbill

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

i put the phone down on my sleep paralysis demon. ye can pull through too! #itsyegrandma #September #aye #grandma #letsgotohell #insomnia #sleepapnea #sleep #demoness #sleepparalysis

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

bitch i'm not dead. #itsyegrandma #September #aye #grandma #partytime #awyeah #letsgotohell

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

give me a skateboard and i'm like the cool kiddies :) #itsyegrandma #hellisfun #youareloved #retirementhome #selflove #bowdownmortals #coolkids #SundayThoughts

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

@Hooverr i often find that trying to swallow paprika, salt or cinnamon by itself makes me sad enough to temporarily remember what feelings are :(

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

eat bread #itsyegrandma #September #aye #grandma

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

love you feckers here's a photo of my hand from last fifteenth century :) i was real pale back then. #itsyegrandma #handsome #hand #aye #grandma #letsgotohell #hellisfun #hell #goat #photooftheday #selfies

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

@Hooverr i mean, asda is cheaper than walmart :(

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

welcome to asmr ye wheezebags :) #itsyegrandma #hellisfun #youareloved #retirementhome

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

every animal lover is likely to be 50% + furry. #itsyegrandma #September #cats

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

ew greta get off mah hand ye wheezebag i think yer great but no. i don't want your dementia spreading to me :( #itsyegrandma #sadthoughts #ohhowawful #imsadnow

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

@Sophie46192781 walk a week in my thirty year old flip flops and my sadness will just sink in like an overweight pebble in water :(

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

@Sophie46192781 mah bones are fecking wonky there is no piddling happy place ye madwoman.

[grandma selma. @SelmaGrandma]

@_toxicality you hear that greta? no one likes your manky porridge.