Not Ron Johnson

Holy sh*t, what have I gotten myself into? (Parody)

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

Why do women need contraception anyway? So they'll have to stand a little farther away from the stove while pregnant. So what?

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

Any recs on where I can find a winter coat large enough to accommodate all of the firearms I will now be carrying? Don't say Lands' End.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

My next vacation #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

@dwilant Like it matters. My mobile offices come to me.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

I'm back from extended Palm Beach vacation. I bet you think I forgot about you, Wisconsin!

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

I'm going woodcock hunting this weekend.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

HAPPY CONSTITUTION DAY EVERYBODY! I read that magnificent doc 4 the 3rd time this a.m. Not the whole thing, just the part on fed pwr. (YUCK)

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

The only good thing about Wisconsin in the fall is the abundance of corn mazes. That shit's everywhere!

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

I'm so busy these days I might have to hire some staff, at least to update my Twitter.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

In Madison doing shots w/ Sen. Hopper and his mistress. Poor guy.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

Something bad about the debt limit increase.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

Sorry I haven't tweeted lately. Have been trying to find out who the hell Victoria Norse is. No luck so far.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

This debt limit pressure is giving me gray hair. Taking a personal day tomorrow.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

Sitting in Senate chamber shooting spitballs at the debt ceiling

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

There's nothing like sucking a shot of cheap whiskey out of a fat WI chick's belly button

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

Being in session this week rly chapped my ass. Sen Paul and I are going 2 have 2 take double the body shots this weekend 2 make up for it.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

WHO THE $@%* GAVE THE JOURNAL SENTINEL MY CELL PHONE #??????

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

Held up Senate business today to make up for not doing anything at all over the last 6 months.

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

At a piano bar in Milwaukee.........I am absolutely shitcanned right now

[Not Ron Johnson @SenRonJohnsonWI]

Watching Lord of the Rings