J. COLD🧢

[Klaus @Martoh__]

Hii Nairobi ukiwa na audacity unaweza enda mbali sana

[Danny @lookinfordanny]

If yo ass turn shorts into panties have a blessed and productive day!

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Twende on NTV must be the most-watched show in Kenya currently judging by the numbers it’s pulling on YouTube.

[Dr. Sylvie Watikum 🇨🇲🇯🇵 Migration Intelligence @sylviewatikum]

There is something hilarious about UK universities suddenly discovering discounts when international students stop coming.
Ah.
So the £20,000 tuition was negotiable? 👀

[Sullivan @mfsvlly]

Mnalialia like teenagers ati people are not checking up on you when you're going through it. Everyone is in the wasteland struggling to fix a hot meal lakini wewe unataka waache kile wanafanya wakutumie words of affirmation because you're a unicorn who shits rainbow-coated turds

[🍁RASTA MAN™🍁 @ItsJeffreyJeff]

Unascan bar code ya Manyatta unapata umeuziwa simu😂😂😂😂

[Kaniaru @A_Kaniaru]

Owning a car is such a flex though!

[GADDAFI 🏆🇵🇸 @daweed_004]

Apo kwa the car na the owner submission za watu wa majuu hazicount. Tunataka gari zimenunuliwa like real men kwa hii uchumi ngumu. Gari zinaeza vutwa anytime na auctioneers

[𝑮𝒓𝒐𝒐𝒗𝒚𝑪𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒓 @u_mtho]

“Cum for me baby” that’s when I know she’s had enough of me 😭

[Elikplim Simon-Pomary @princeganaku]

An underrated lesson you learn from handling divorces among young people is you never ever marry a person who is genuinely, proudly (and publicly) disdainful or distrustful of your sex/gender. Even if they’re the last person on earth.

[Moriö @moriostaT]

If your girl has a fat ass and does TikTok videos, your days are numbered!

[sayo🧟‍♂️ @saykunmi]

I’m (not) sorry but a babe is never getting a money bouquet from me, ever

[✧ @whotfisDuke]

Hearing your partner repeat your lingo gotta be the coolest shit ever, like you really a mini me 😩

[Elon @elonmanthoughts]

if Ngugi Wa Thiong'o was the wife beater they say he was, then he's both a revolutionary writer & a wife beater. one title shouldn't dilute the other.

[Seven Heaven @SevenHeaveit]

I just came home and my girlfriend(unofficial wife)from the mountain amenyoa box na akapaka dye. Hatuna mtoto. Acha nitoke hivi nikama naendea maziwa niende kabisa ju mi sikuli steel wire.

[Ja Loka @_fels1]

It's almost 4 am and the waitress is still asking "nikuongeze nyingine?", but not asking why a man is drinking until 4 am on a weekday.

[ᴳⁱⁿⁱ ᵐⁱᵗ @tw1tarfingxs]

😭😭wiki ndio hio imepita majamaa, msiwe na wasiwasi watu wangu ilikuwa tu filamu alipenda akapost, ni hii mambo tu ya social media na algo kupendekezea mtu. Leo hata before I left for work niliambiwa take care, so hakuna kitu ingine nilifanya leo I just took care 🤣😭😭

[Skribz @SkribzSt]

Who doesn't know this?

The mandem actually have a better understanding of race relations than most. Just by virtue of chasing woman and finding out the real from early.

[𝙳𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚔 @Dendricck]

I wouldn't mind ju what makes you think ata mimi si ati nakapitia? I hope none of my friends never hold me to such standards honestly haha

[Kuwa Strong @KuwaSTRNG]

Ati madhe ali iba bwana ya mtu (my father) kwa matanga ya jirani😭😭