Darth Sex

sex and relationship advice fresh from hell

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

girl I just want to give you affection, conversation, orgasms and hpv, is that too much to ask

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

you're hooking up, and due to poor choice of location, you end up gradually sliding to a new place without changing positions

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

You know that thing where you have unprotected sex, and then two days later your crotch itches even slightly and YOU KNOW IT'S AIDS

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

Sex panther http://t.co/4pH6yuqA

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

It's so weird how like one in 5 girls I meet is just like "I've never had an orgasm from another person" and is just cool with that somehow.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

During sex, if you are not telling your lover that you aren't liking something out of fear of making them uncomfortable, it's bad sex.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

The whole "no means no" thing would be more legit if our culture didn't commoditize sex to the point where it's a persuasion game.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

It must suck to be a smart guy with a tiny dick. At least if you're a dumb guy with a normal dick, you don't care that you're dumb.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

There is nothing more frustrating than being told "fuck me harder" when you're already at a maximum hard fucking plateau. I am not a spartan

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

If I ever have a wedding I'm only going to invite girls I'm trying to fuck

[Clarisa Lumbreras @claire_danes137]

If he loved you, you'd know. If he doesn't, you'll just be confused. #dontbenaive

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

There should be a special hell for people who don't believe in the female orgasm.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

Take your time in the "just before penetration" nudity stage, and your lover might become quietly confused. That is the moment you strike.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

Music makes sex last longer, or at least seem longer. Something about distracting one of the senses. Trust me, Ima scientist.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

Getting half a mediocre blowjob before sex will make you last way longer.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

Oh, stop pretending like you usually use condoms.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

General note: Don't be annoying during sex.

[Clarisa Lumbreras @claire_danes137]

I have nobody to relay on but myself. #sucks

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

If someone asks you to do something during sex, do it and continue doing it. Don't just do it once or for two seconds, it's annoying.

[Darth Sex @SexDarth]

Girls who say "size doesn't matter" are usually chicks who get off from grinding and friction, and don't often have vaginal orgasms.