Monky 🌙

[Schmμτż ᛭𝟗᛭ @Schmutz_9R]

My physique is top 0.1% for people who have the McDonald’s app on their phone.

[santana 🕷️ @cowboytanz]

bae you don’t ask me enough complex open ended questions about myself please don’t lose me like this …. ……

[Joe Colangelo @Itsjoeco]

Fully black license plate cover plus student driver sticker. Everyone who sees this says "am I the sucker for paying tolls?" and societal trust erodes a little more.

[the dutchess of bushwick @ktrivs]

the entire american economy is just based on smart people paying beautiful people to promote things to insecure people

[Luna 💫 @LunaAmatista]

Why does it feel like people mostly either ignore degree modifiers or think you don't mean what you wrote.

I can say "generally," "usually," "mostly," etc. and someone will chime in with "not always" like. Yeah man that's what I meant. That was the purpose of using those words.

[ameltevil..... @aamelting]

seeing this flag on the street in japan and freaking out thinking im driving WAY faster than I'm supposed to be

[Andy Masley @AndyMasley]

Yeah turns out if you build a big computer that doesn't require many people to operate, it's going to cost a lot relative to how many jobs it creates, but it can benefit the area via tax revenue. This metric is about as meaningful as saying a bridge doesn't create many jobs relative to how much it costs to build.

[Clothes-Minded Individual @NBABabySecret]

Ur Girl is liking my 58:46, 4 mile walk on Strava

[Style tips, by Gnocchi®️ @jonnydelco]

If a hotel charges me to park, I am running the water 24/7.

[emilie @emiliepfrank]

this is when you go get a diet coke

[Lori - Breaker of Curfews @lori_socal]

All I’m saying is it’s statistically impossible that every murder victim lit up a room.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Celebrated Valentine's Day with my forever dance partner. Love you, Miche!

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Jersey Turnpike would make a beautiful name for a baby girl

[Subscribe to the You Know Ball Patreon @TrillBroDude]

Worst Super Bowl for a guy named Drake since last year

[Ari Meirov @MySportsUpdate]

Today is your one-year warning…

The Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day fall on the same day next year.

Start planning now.

[LB @beyondreasdoubt]

I really don't care what people spend on DoorDash, just don't also ask me to pay your student loans.