Jack Shackley

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

My girl got a P.h.D in stars call that a witch dr.

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Cardboard so thin yet holds so many beers

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

@SYDNEYJ0HNS0N Not if your heart is pure

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

@Mochak123 @VlRTUALBOY Got 3 huge events coming up very excited for all of them

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Gonna teach this old dog some new tricks (money laundering)

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

@youre2basic Do you think if I DD McDonald’s breakfast and lunch at the same time I’ll injure time and space ? Or no

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Kissing booth but instead of kissing they have a gun and they use it

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Infinite sustenance cheat code

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Giving the bartender a raspberry so I don’t have to pay my tab

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Gonna walk into the White House and throw the biggest tantrum ever to get my way

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Got a case of the Mondays (hit & run before 9am)

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Golfers are so fucking good at golf I will never understand it

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Uber driver is trying to impress me by drinking and driving he’s so overqualified

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

@VlRTUALBOY @millerIowlife Beer?

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Excuse me do you know any strangers I’m trying to meet new people

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

@wylde_sam If anything bad happens she’ll just run away that might work

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Gonna burn the bar to the ground for the environment

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Restaurant booths need an ottoman with pillows and blankets under the table

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

Pretending to sleep at the morgue to try to fit in

[Jack Shackley @Shackley18]

A hearing test is just being awake in your bed listening to your roommate try to make food