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I don't judge nobody, because I know what it's like to thug it out in silence. To wake up drained but still handle your business. To feel alone around people who swear they love you. To go ghost instead of vent, because people use what you tell them,against you. To keep everything bottled up&still move like everything is good when really it isn’t.
IDK who need to hear this, but sometimes you just gotta TAKE A BREAK FROM EVERYBODY & GO BE ALONE. Go get your PEACE & thoughts together, IDC if it’s just a few hours or a weekend. Sometimes you can find yourself surrounded by so many different vibes & energies, & that can drain YOU.... & have an effect on you without you even realizing it.
When you hurt someone and maintain a relationship with that person, they may bring it up again. They may need more clarity. Even if you have apologized, they may bring it up. And when that happens, it is on YOU to be patient and have a discussion about it. If you hurt that person, it's not up to you to tell them when and how to heal. If you are truly sorry and care about them, you gotta deal with those uncomfortable feelings about how they're still hurting over something. These are the consequences of your actions.
My ex called me last month after two years of silence. He said he called to apologize.
I sat and listened to everything he had to say.
He admitted he was immature. He said he took me for granted. He said leaving me was the biggest mistake of his life.
Then, after a long pause, he asked: "I've changed. Can we try again?"
I was quiet for a while. Then said, "I believe you've changed. I genuinely do. But I need you to understand something."
"When you were treating me badly, I didn't leave immediately. I stayed and communicated. I told you exactly what was hurting me, what I needed, what I could no longer accept."
"You changed after I left. Not while I was there asking you to. So the version of you that finally became who I needed... was built on the pain of losing me. And I had to rebuild myself during that same time."
"I'm not angry. I forgive you completely. But I'm not available."
He was quiet. Then he said he understood.
We ended the call on good terms.
Afterwards, I made myself a cup of tea and sat in silence.
It hit me that growth after loss is real. People can change. But sometimes, a closed door isn't punishment. It's protection. Not from who they used to be.
But for the person you've become without them.
Would you ever go back to someone who only changed after losing you? Why or why not?