Shannosaurus Rex 🦕

My two modes are Sarcastic and Self-Deprecating

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

I just had a dream that @Jenna_Marbles was giving birth to a child and there was no doctor at the hospital so @juliensolomita had to deliver. I didn't watch any of their videos before bed, and am seriously confused about my subconscious mind.

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

I appreciate the representation, but if @netflix could stop over-sexualizing every lesbian relationship in their shows that would be great tbh

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

Story time: In my freshman year of college I wanted to do something nice and wake my roommates up with pancakes on a Sunday but I accidentally set the stove on fire and ruined our cookware instead.

[jo jurnham @FScottPilgrim]

I’m down for her being Vanessa but we need a plus size drag queen as Ursula for real

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

@swiggitynope I'm still fond of the little girl named Astronomy who proposed to Darth Vader

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

@SawyerReed95 I thought this meant the type of car and I was like, "they're not comfortable but THAT'S CHEAP. I'll take one!"

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

@schofield_katy With strict restrictions but YES

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

I'M AT WORK TODAY AND I'M LIVING MY BEST LIFE 💕

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

I'm currently sitting on the bathroom floor shaking and throwing up because my blood sugar dropped suger low and instead of going to Urgent Care, I'm wondering if I can afford medical attention. What the actual fuck is wrong with this country?

[Larry Matovina @larrymatovina]

I'm starting to worry my only hobby these days is being bad at Twitter.

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

Social anxiety is realizing that you ended a voicemail with "Thank you again" but never actually said "thank you" before that.

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

gooooob morning. it is a new day. a new chance. for you to change the world. i would do it myself. but then who would watch the skittle. under the fridge

[When We All Vote @WhenWeAllVote]

🚨 If you live in these states, make sure you register to vote by tomorrow, October 9:

AZ
AR
FL
GA
IN
KY
MI
MS
NM
OH
PA
TN
TX
HI
IL
MT
LA
NV
UT

Text WeAllVote to 97779 or go to https://t.co/TgXnKAVIEI to register to vote right now.

[syd thom @sydneydthompson]

happy october to everyone except ernesto de la cruz

[feminist next door @emrazz]

This is better. I think I’ll stay drunk all weekend.

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

A panic attack is worth a thousand words

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

@JewellAthena I'm sorry love. That sucks.

[Shannosaurus Rex 🦕 @ShanMariMars]

Want to lose weight? Go on paid medical leave. They will forgot to send you 4 out of 5 of your paychecks and you won't be able to afford food!

[Lin-Manuel Miranda @Lin_Manuel]

History has its eyes on you.