shannon

just tweetin

[shannon @Shancakess]

Join me while I live tweet my induction

[shannon @Shancakess]

this feels relevant

[shannon @Shancakess]

in Thrift Shop (2012) Macklemore states that he’s walking into the club and that he’s got a big cock.

In I Don’t Belong in this Club (2019), Macklemore states: “I don’t belong in this club.”

Possibly alluding to a club full of average sized penises??

[RealityBBQ #BB28 @rbbq]

Julie: "What exactly did you do to prepare for Big Brother"

Damn Julie #BB28

[shannon @Shancakess]

spreading the news that big brother season is starting soon like a missionary spreading the news about Jesus

[shannon @Shancakess]

sigh

[sky ミ☆ @dreamskyrivera]

16 years later and sue's "no. me. sue sylvester." is still one of the funniest deliveries on glee 😭

[shannon @Shancakess]

Addie is projectile vomiting and vomited all over her bed and I stripped the sheets and against my better judgement let her sleep in our bed and she puked again and all I could think about was this

[shannon @Shancakess]

@tru_fru trü frü,

I am so beyond desperate for a pr box from you that it isn’t even funny. i even took the extra time to make sure i added umlauts so as to refer to you correctly. it would make my entire life to receive pr from you. please be true to me trü frü (i came off priv for this)

[shannon @Shancakess]

When I tell people how much I love cilantro they just assume I don’t have the cilantro tastes like soap gene but really I just love eating soap

[shannon @Shancakess]

Addie got a toy camera for her birthday and look at this absolutely tough pic she took of our car lmao

[shannon @Shancakess]

4 year old student called me an ugly motherfucking bitch today and idk man you could’ve left the ugly part out

[shannon @Shancakess]

This diva is 5 today!!! It was only 5 years ago when I live tweeted her birth 🤩

[shannon @Shancakess]

spot the difference

[shannon @Shancakess]

@i_need_a_cig omg I heard that spot is really popular. people are like dying to get in

[shannon @Shancakess]

influencers really be like “omg me and my baby almost got trafficked at our local target!!!” and the baby’s entire life and address is on the internet

[shannon @Shancakess]

I know that’s right!!!

[rae @SPITEFEM]

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic

[shannon @Shancakess]

sometimes I like an AI video on here because it’s funny and then the community note is added and I’m like omg twitter thinks I’m an idiot

[shannon @Shancakess]

hot take: the Domingo sketch wasn’t even that funny in the first place

[shannon @Shancakess]

@carsonpls side eyeing you so hard rn

[shannon @Shancakess]

@carsonpls omg why!!!

[shannon @Shancakess]

my outfit didn’t come in on time so I had to wear a tank top with a pink bra life is so hard

[shannon @Shancakess]

Guilty of having not gone through this before reading it to my preschoolers and so I ended it and went “welp that’s why we don’t steal”