Zak Agha

Posting bad jokes to nobody.

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

I’m considering taking up stand up to see if my jokes are worth posting on Twitter.

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

I’ve started getting my ozempic from this Mexican homie. His street name is GLP-Juan

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

This is NOT the future Dippin’ Dots promised us.

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

Should be 3-0 Spain if it wasn’t for corrupt @FIFAcom

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

Well, let the corruption begin. 1-0 Spain @FIFAcom

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

Hey kids…sorry to break it to you but riding in a mini bike gang yelling “eff the police” isn’t tough. Do it on a GoPed like a real one.

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

Annual reminder that we have ZERO idea what we're talking about as football fans when it comes to the draft

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

@ThoughtCrimes80 @DoctorMommy401 Srry about your bro-in-laws, that’s terrible and I’m sure it’s very hard on you and your fam. Addiction is a disease that hurts everyone around you. It’s something you can rarely get out of on your own. My sis got clean and helped me, I helped my bro. Now we all help ppl daily.

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

I don’t have road rage. I have road frustration.

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

@RealSkipBayless Won*?

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

I’ve never heard anyone say Andrea Bocelli’s music would be better if he just sang in English more…

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

@BuffaloBills Yea. He’s gonna do much better than McDermott

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

@jbj5613 @AleksanderTomp2 @SeattleONTap That’s just something that people without a sense of humor say.

[Alec Lewis @alec_lewis]

Vikings OC Wes Phillips was asked today what he feels is the key to staying a playoff team year-to-year. Thought the answer was fascinating:

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

@JonnyRoot_ @LuisGargantuan Same idea

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

You can’t learn to focus until you learn to ignore.

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

Dad hack #347: Put laundry in before bed, drink water, wake up an hour to go to bathroom/throw in dryer.

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

Dave Chappelle’s new comedy special is officially just called “Dave Chappelle’s New Comedy Special” to all white people.

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

It’s definitely a white Christmas 💎

[Wade Phillips @sonofbum]

Bust down Christmas!

[Zak Agha @ShanghaiZak]

@NFL_DovKleiman back to back false starts

[Wade Phillips @sonofbum]

Jerry said he had 50 yardl line seats for me— I’m not so sure.